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The Disaster Will Be Televised

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The Disaster Will Be Televised
By Michael Krumholtz


Again the intense camera lights blind any fortuitous sight. Again they are seen under an
ugly lens.

An opportunity to play on ESPN, for most programs, means a great exposure to recruits,
transplanted alumni, and a national audience of football addicts. For CU it’s not a level of
exposure, so much as it is a mark of being exposed, that scars it’s fate on national TV.

Colorado has not won a game broadcasted on an ESPN station since a 2008 Thursday
night win at home against West Virginia. In that span they’ve lost by double-digits to
Toledo and Hawaii on the worldwide leader in sports, not to mention blowout losses to
bluebloods like USC, Ohio State, and Oklahoma.

This is not to say there is some sacred curse over CU. The same problems persist with
or without the audience watching. These issues include, but are not limited to: Webb’s
inaccuracy beyond five yards, lack of a productive short yardage running game, and
missed tackles on defense and special teams.

But nearly every postgame quote from this team starts with “We have to do (insert any
aspect of football here) better.” If talk weren’t so cheap, the player and coaches would
owe the fans a good amount, or at least something better than this.

It all looks good on paper; and the quotes and practice reports sound promising each
week. But no change in the fundamental substance remains. Without the fire, a food stays
raw. They can spice it up all they want, but once someone takes a bite into that meat
they’ll spit it right back out.

“We just have to find a way to finish and keep the energy,” said linebacker Jon Major
after CU went into halftime only trailing 17-20. “A few bad things happened, it’s that
snowball effect. We have to get out of that.”

The surrounding cameras have presented a show where one of the two actors has no
creative talent. A nation’s eyes, familiar with Pac-12 playmakers like Marquise Lee
and De’Anthony Thomas, find a riot of slowness when they turn the channel to Folsom
Field’s stage. There should be a laugh track going over the P.A. system.

Arizona State’s offense tallied 320 yards in the second half alone, which lead to 31
points.

“(The) defense played hard but they were able to capitalize on the pressures we had,” said
linebacker Derrick Webb. “They pretty much knew when we had pressures and were able
to counter with screen plays. They did this for a couple of scores and that hurt us.”

Only down by three to start the second half, an opening 100-yard kickoff return blew out
the candle’s chance that CU had to take the lead. Coach Embree lectured his players on
the importance of the first defensive drive. But again the spiced up talking led to bitter-
tasting results.

“We talked about how important that first play was going to be to start the third quarter,
and trying to pin them down there,” Embree said. “We just need to execute. We need to
get off blocks and make a tackle and be in our lanes.”

Then the Buffs offense had four drives in a row that went three-and-out. They failed to
score a point in the third and fourth quarters. Bienemy’s offense stalled, forcing a defense
without the proper tools to go out and repair the flattened wheels.

The horror story of the second half would make Steven King close the book in disbelief.
And this administration’s dialogue foreshadows more gruesome upcoming scenes.
President Bruce Benson recently backed Embree and the staff with empty words of
optimism.

And his partner in crime, Chancellor Phil DeStefano is like a headless rabbit that circles
around the garden without aim, looking only to uproot and never to plant the very
nutrition he needs for survival. Donors are tired of giving him money, just to see him turn
around and buy himself another bag of carrots.

There is a lot that can’t be hidden once the camera’s live red light comes on. Failure is
easy to spot with any spectator’s pair of eyes.
 
Great article, Michael.

It has gotten to the point where any national exposure for CU football is a bad thing.
 
Nice article. Thanks. So much is wrong with this team, I really wasn't looking forward to it being televised.

Anyone remember the Aints? Do we need paper bags??
 
Great article, Michael.

It has gotten to the point where any national exposure for CU football is a bad thing.

Meh.

Americans love an underdog. Think of the Bad News Bears, the Rocky movies, the Chicago Cubs, and now the Colorado Buffaloes...

Somewhere out there some bleeding heart is going go fall in love with Embree's Buffaloes. This explains the attraction of television programs like Pitbulls and Parolees and Southbound and Down, or the Miracle on Ice.

Plus there are lots of enemies of our enemies. UCLA and Cal and Washington and ASU fans will sympathetic towards (ok...pity) CU during each of the next three games.
 
Meh.

Americans love an underdog. Think of the Bad News Bears, the Rocky movies, the Chicago Cubs, and now the Colorado Buffaloes...

Somewhere out there some bleeding heart is going go fall in love with Embree's Buffaloes. This explains the attraction of television programs like Pitbulls and Parolees and Southbound and Down, or the Miracle on Ice.

Plus there are lots of enemies of our enemies. UCLA and Cal and Washington and ASU fans will sympathetic towards (ok...pity) CU during each of the next three games.

Getting beat by 50 does no good
 
Getting beat by 50 does no good

Not to prepubescents and those whose balls just dropped.

But there are ambitious coaches and donors out in TV land who might see CU as an opportunity.

Buy low, sell high and all that.
 
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