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Nebraska jokes - got any good ones
- Thread starter 77buff
- Start date
RalphieMalph
Well-Known Member
I don't know, I didn't get much of a chuckle out of that one. I think it'd be funnier if it read like:
How can you tell you've been invited to a Fusker housewarming party?
Upon entering the party, the host says to you "I recently purchased this house", then he retires to his bedroom where he engages in coitus with an ovulating cow.
How can you tell you've been invited to a Fusker housewarming party?
Upon entering the party, the host says to you "I recently purchased this house", then he retires to his bedroom where he engages in coitus with an ovulating cow.
Deleted member 807
Guest
A team of neBRAska astro-physicists submitted a proposal for NASA grants. Competition with other schools is tough, as CU proposed a lunar base to be used in a mission to Mars.
Nebraska's proposal was to send a manned mission to investigate the surface if the sun. NASA's chief scientist asked how the spacecraft would withstand the sun's extreme heat.
"Easy. We're going at night."
Nebraska's proposal was to send a manned mission to investigate the surface if the sun. NASA's chief scientist asked how the spacecraft would withstand the sun's extreme heat.
"Easy. We're going at night."
DustyRhodes
Active Member
anyone know what the state bird used to be?
Crop duster? Hell if I know.
A bat - thus the "Bugeaters" :lol:
joe glenns hand gesture
DustyRhodes
Active Member
The play-action pass!
DustyRhodes
Active Member
new one:
what's the state tree?
what's the state tree?
Hey dusty, 77buff asked for funny jokes:wink2:
Deleted member 807
Guest
coyeote
New Member
Prior to the K-state game they evacuated memorial stadium because they found a suspicious white powder on the field and nobody knew what it was. It turns out it was the goal line.
BC was just elected to coach the US ski team. They had never seen a coach that could make a team go down hill soooooo fast.
BC was just elected to coach the US ski team. They had never seen a coach that could make a team go down hill soooooo fast.
DustyRhodes
Active Member
nah, that's 'sota.
DustyRhodes
Active Member
DustyRhodes
Active Member
Two University of Nebraska scholars were walking through the woods and came upon a set of tracks.
The first NU scholar said "Those are deer tracks."
The second one said "Nope, they're too big for deer tracks. They must be elk tracks."
As the debate raged on they were hit by a train.
The first NU scholar said "Those are deer tracks."
The second one said "Nope, they're too big for deer tracks. They must be elk tracks."
As the debate raged on they were hit by a train.
yes....i came up with this one all by my lonesome...:wink2:
schools from the old big 8 conference were trying to decide what their school colors should be. so, they sent officials to seek the wisdom of GOD. members from colorado nebraska, oklahoma state and iowa state were among the first to talk to GOD. the osu rep was first to stand before GOD and HE told the rep., when i think of oklahoma, i think of deep orange sunsets setting over the prairies, with fluffy white clouds dancing in the skies by day and vast open black skies at night. your colors are orange, white and black. next was the isu representative. GOD told him that when HE thinks of iowa, HE thinks of deep red sunsets over gorgeous golden yellow fields of corn...your colors are red and yellow. the CU rep was next in line. GOD said, when i think of colorado, i think of glorious golden sunshine filled days that grace your beautiful state over 330 days a year and deep, dense black forests of pine trees that stretch for 100s of miles through the high country, your colors are black and gold. next it was NUs turn. their rep. stood before GOD and HE said, your colors are scarlet and cream.
That night, GOD and St. Peter were sitting down to feast and St. Peter asked, "GOD, when all of the schools stood before you, you gave them glorious explanations of the origins of their school colors except for nebraska...why?"
GOD replied, "Well, when i think of nebraska, all i can picture is red necks and white trash!"
schools from the old big 8 conference were trying to decide what their school colors should be. so, they sent officials to seek the wisdom of GOD. members from colorado nebraska, oklahoma state and iowa state were among the first to talk to GOD. the osu rep was first to stand before GOD and HE told the rep., when i think of oklahoma, i think of deep orange sunsets setting over the prairies, with fluffy white clouds dancing in the skies by day and vast open black skies at night. your colors are orange, white and black. next was the isu representative. GOD told him that when HE thinks of iowa, HE thinks of deep red sunsets over gorgeous golden yellow fields of corn...your colors are red and yellow. the CU rep was next in line. GOD said, when i think of colorado, i think of glorious golden sunshine filled days that grace your beautiful state over 330 days a year and deep, dense black forests of pine trees that stretch for 100s of miles through the high country, your colors are black and gold. next it was NUs turn. their rep. stood before GOD and HE said, your colors are scarlet and cream.
That night, GOD and St. Peter were sitting down to feast and St. Peter asked, "GOD, when all of the schools stood before you, you gave them glorious explanations of the origins of their school colors except for nebraska...why?"
GOD replied, "Well, when i think of nebraska, all i can picture is red necks and white trash!"
FlatironsBuff
Well-Known Member
I have a ton of them, but they are on my laptop and it is out in the truck. So....wait a bit, bitches!!:smile2:
(doing the daddy duty now with the 2 month old while momma sleeps-- Maddy threw up four times last night so she didn't get much sleep.)
(doing the daddy duty now with the 2 month old while momma sleeps-- Maddy threw up four times last night so she didn't get much sleep.)
Not bad, except our school colors are silver & gold. :huh:
yeah, i know that....and you know that...but i originally composed this for Huskers fans and i didn't want to have to explain that to them.....
FlatironsBuff
Well-Known Member
NEBRASKA JOKES
Q:What do you call a beautiful girl on the Nebraska campus?
A:A visitor.
Q:What do you call five nude Nebraska cheerleaders in the hot tub?
A:Gorillas in the mist.
Q:How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader onto the elevator?
A:Grease her hips and toss in a Twinkie.
Q:What does the “N” on the Nebraska football helmet stand for?
(Probably the original NU joke.)
A:Knowledge.
Q:Why does the wind always blow in Wyoming? (Heard this from a Wyo.
guy.)
A:Because Nebraska sucks and Utah blows.
Q:What is the third largest university in the state of Kansas?
A:The University of Nebraska at Leavenworth. First two are KU and
KState.
General Custer is camped out with his troops at the Little Bighorn
before the battle that was to follow. His advance scout returned from
checking out how many Indians they could be facing and assessing what
they should do to defend themselves. He walked into Gen. Custer’s
tent with a look of resignation on his face, looking down at the
ground, and sadly shaking his head. When Custer saw the guy’s body
language, he quickly became concerned, and said, “What is it?!” The
scout was still shaking his head and just said, “Oh, General.” Custer
then quickly became ticked off and yelled out again, “Damn it, what
is it?” The scout said, “General, I have some bad news and some good
news. Which do you want to hear first?” Custer said, “Let’s hear the
bad news first and get it out of the way.” The scout said, “General,
there are so many Indians out there that none of us are getting out
of here alive. We’re all going to die!” Custer said, “Ya gotta be
kidding! After hearing that, how could there be any good news?” The
scout then became excited and said, “Hey, we don’t have to travel
back across Nebraska!”
Q:What’s the best thing to come out of Nebraska?
A:I-80.
Q:What is the Nebraska state tree?
A:The telephone pole.
**A NU football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding
accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death.
It's a good thing the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged
it.
Q:What do you call a beautiful girl on the Nebraska campus?
A:A visitor.
Q:What do you call five nude Nebraska cheerleaders in the hot tub?
A:Gorillas in the mist.
Q:How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader onto the elevator?
A:Grease her hips and toss in a Twinkie.
Q:What does the “N” on the Nebraska football helmet stand for?
(Probably the original NU joke.)
A:Knowledge.
Q:Why does the wind always blow in Wyoming? (Heard this from a Wyo.
guy.)
A:Because Nebraska sucks and Utah blows.
Q:What is the third largest university in the state of Kansas?
A:The University of Nebraska at Leavenworth. First two are KU and
KState.
General Custer is camped out with his troops at the Little Bighorn
before the battle that was to follow. His advance scout returned from
checking out how many Indians they could be facing and assessing what
they should do to defend themselves. He walked into Gen. Custer’s
tent with a look of resignation on his face, looking down at the
ground, and sadly shaking his head. When Custer saw the guy’s body
language, he quickly became concerned, and said, “What is it?!” The
scout was still shaking his head and just said, “Oh, General.” Custer
then quickly became ticked off and yelled out again, “Damn it, what
is it?” The scout said, “General, I have some bad news and some good
news. Which do you want to hear first?” Custer said, “Let’s hear the
bad news first and get it out of the way.” The scout said, “General,
there are so many Indians out there that none of us are getting out
of here alive. We’re all going to die!” Custer said, “Ya gotta be
kidding! After hearing that, how could there be any good news?” The
scout then became excited and said, “Hey, we don’t have to travel
back across Nebraska!”
Q:What’s the best thing to come out of Nebraska?
A:I-80.
Q:What is the Nebraska state tree?
A:The telephone pole.
**A NU football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding
accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death.
It's a good thing the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged
it.
FlatironsBuff
Well-Known Member
**The NU football team was placed in a remedial English
class. "Because we are all new on campus we are going to start with
the basics," the professor explained. "Does anyone know what comes
after a sentence?"
All of the players raised their hands. "The appeal!" They all shouted
with pride.
Q: What do you call a person from NU in a three piece suit?
A: The defendant
Q: What do you call a 240 pound Nebraska cheerleader?
A: Anorexic.
You're probably a Husker fan if ...
... You list your parole officer as a reference.
... Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
... You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.
... Your grandmother can properly execute the sleeper hold.
Q: Why aren't there any roaches in Nebraska dorm rooms?
A: Even roaches have some self-respect.
Q: Did you hear about the Husker who put snow tires on his car?
A: They melted
Q: Did you hear about the Nebraska player that broke his leg raking
leaves?
A: He fell out of the tree.
You're probably a Nebraska fan if ...
... Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
... Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from
the governor to spare a loved one.
... You thought the school fight song should have been "Dueling
Banjos."
Q: If you see a Nebraska football player on a bicycle, why should you
never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
**A Colorado fan was driving down a country road when he came upon
two Nebraska football players hitchiking. He told the Nebraska
players to jump in the back of his pick-up truck. He then drove down
the dirt road rather fast and lost control of the truck as they were
going around a curve. The truck landed in a lake. The Colorado fan
scrambled to the surface and swam to the bank. When he looked back at
the lake, the two Nebraska football players were still sitting in the
bed of the truck looking frantic. As the truck began sinking the
Colorado fan yelled for the Nebraska players to get out of the truck,
to
which they replied, "We're tryin' to get out, but we can't get the
dang tailgate open!"
**A man walks into a store says to the clerk, "I'd like a pair of red
shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white
shoes." The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, "You must
be an Nebraska fan!" The man proclaims with pride, "How could you
tell, was it the color scheme!" The clerk looks at him and says "No,
this is a hardware store."
class. "Because we are all new on campus we are going to start with
the basics," the professor explained. "Does anyone know what comes
after a sentence?"
All of the players raised their hands. "The appeal!" They all shouted
with pride.
Q: What do you call a person from NU in a three piece suit?
A: The defendant
Q: What do you call a 240 pound Nebraska cheerleader?
A: Anorexic.
You're probably a Husker fan if ...
... You list your parole officer as a reference.
... Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
... You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.
... Your grandmother can properly execute the sleeper hold.
Q: Why aren't there any roaches in Nebraska dorm rooms?
A: Even roaches have some self-respect.
Q: Did you hear about the Husker who put snow tires on his car?
A: They melted
Q: Did you hear about the Nebraska player that broke his leg raking
leaves?
A: He fell out of the tree.
You're probably a Nebraska fan if ...
... Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
... Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from
the governor to spare a loved one.
... You thought the school fight song should have been "Dueling
Banjos."
Q: If you see a Nebraska football player on a bicycle, why should you
never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
**A Colorado fan was driving down a country road when he came upon
two Nebraska football players hitchiking. He told the Nebraska
players to jump in the back of his pick-up truck. He then drove down
the dirt road rather fast and lost control of the truck as they were
going around a curve. The truck landed in a lake. The Colorado fan
scrambled to the surface and swam to the bank. When he looked back at
the lake, the two Nebraska football players were still sitting in the
bed of the truck looking frantic. As the truck began sinking the
Colorado fan yelled for the Nebraska players to get out of the truck,
to
which they replied, "We're tryin' to get out, but we can't get the
dang tailgate open!"
**A man walks into a store says to the clerk, "I'd like a pair of red
shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white
shoes." The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, "You must
be an Nebraska fan!" The man proclaims with pride, "How could you
tell, was it the color scheme!" The clerk looks at him and says "No,
this is a hardware store."
FlatironsBuff
Well-Known Member
Q: Why did they build the Mercedes plant so close to the University
of Nebraska?
A: Because they have an endless supply of crash test dummies right
down the road.
**Two Nebraska fans are walking in the woods. One says, "Look! A dead
bird." The other one looks up into the sky and says, "Where?"
**Two Husker players are walking along a railroad track. One
says, "Darn! These stairs are killin' me!" The other says, "It's
ain't the stairs I can't stand, it's the low handrails!"
**Two boys are playing football in a vacant lot when one of the boys
is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the first little
boy rips a board off a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar,
and twists, breaking the dog's neck and killing him instantly. A
reporter, who happens to be strolling nearby, sees the incident and
rushes over to interview the boy. "That was the most incredible act
of bravery I've ever seen!" the reporter exclaims. He whips out his
notebook and furiously scribbles the headline: "Young Buffalo Fan
Saves Friend From Vicious Animal!" The little hero sees this and
says, "But sir, I'm not a Buff Fan, I'm a Husker Fan!" The reporter
looks warily at the boy for a moment, then flips the page and begins
a new headline: "Little Redneck Kid Kills Beloved Family Pet"
Q: What do you call a crime ring in Lincoln?
A: A huddle.
Q: Why can't a Nebraska player go on the internet?
A: He can't put 3 w's together.
Q: What's the difference between a Husker and a bucket of manure?
A: The bucket.
Q: If you have a car containing a Husker wide receiver, a Husker
linebacker, and a Husker defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
**A Colorado grad, a Texas grad, and a Nebraska grad are waiting to
be executed by firing squad. The Colorado grad is first, and as he is
waiting to be executed, he yells, "Earthquake!" The firing squad
panics and runs away, allowing the Colorado grad to jump over the
wall and escape. The Texas grad is next, and
as he is waiting to be executed, he yells, "Flood!" The firing squad
again panics and runs away, so the Texas grad also jumps over the
wall and escapes. The Nebraska grad is last. As he is waiting to be
executed, he remembers what the CU and UT grads had done, so he
yells, "Fire!"
Q: What does the average NU student get on their SAT's?
A: Drool
Q: What do tornadoes and Nebraska grads have in common?
A: They both always end up in trailer parks!
Q: Why couldn't NU have a nativity scene this past Christmas?
A: They couldn't find three wise men.
Q: What is the difference between a Husker fan's car and a
Porcupine?
A: The Porcupine has the pricks on the outside
Nebraska's greatest inventions:
1. Solar powered flashlight
2. Water-proof towel
3. A book on "How-To-Read"
4. Inflatable dart board
of Nebraska?
A: Because they have an endless supply of crash test dummies right
down the road.
**Two Nebraska fans are walking in the woods. One says, "Look! A dead
bird." The other one looks up into the sky and says, "Where?"
**Two Husker players are walking along a railroad track. One
says, "Darn! These stairs are killin' me!" The other says, "It's
ain't the stairs I can't stand, it's the low handrails!"
**Two boys are playing football in a vacant lot when one of the boys
is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the first little
boy rips a board off a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar,
and twists, breaking the dog's neck and killing him instantly. A
reporter, who happens to be strolling nearby, sees the incident and
rushes over to interview the boy. "That was the most incredible act
of bravery I've ever seen!" the reporter exclaims. He whips out his
notebook and furiously scribbles the headline: "Young Buffalo Fan
Saves Friend From Vicious Animal!" The little hero sees this and
says, "But sir, I'm not a Buff Fan, I'm a Husker Fan!" The reporter
looks warily at the boy for a moment, then flips the page and begins
a new headline: "Little Redneck Kid Kills Beloved Family Pet"
Q: What do you call a crime ring in Lincoln?
A: A huddle.
Q: Why can't a Nebraska player go on the internet?
A: He can't put 3 w's together.
Q: What's the difference between a Husker and a bucket of manure?
A: The bucket.
Q: If you have a car containing a Husker wide receiver, a Husker
linebacker, and a Husker defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
**A Colorado grad, a Texas grad, and a Nebraska grad are waiting to
be executed by firing squad. The Colorado grad is first, and as he is
waiting to be executed, he yells, "Earthquake!" The firing squad
panics and runs away, allowing the Colorado grad to jump over the
wall and escape. The Texas grad is next, and
as he is waiting to be executed, he yells, "Flood!" The firing squad
again panics and runs away, so the Texas grad also jumps over the
wall and escapes. The Nebraska grad is last. As he is waiting to be
executed, he remembers what the CU and UT grads had done, so he
yells, "Fire!"
Q: What does the average NU student get on their SAT's?
A: Drool
Q: What do tornadoes and Nebraska grads have in common?
A: They both always end up in trailer parks!
Q: Why couldn't NU have a nativity scene this past Christmas?
A: They couldn't find three wise men.
Q: What is the difference between a Husker fan's car and a
Porcupine?
A: The Porcupine has the pricks on the outside
Nebraska's greatest inventions:
1. Solar powered flashlight
2. Water-proof towel
3. A book on "How-To-Read"
4. Inflatable dart board
FlatironsBuff
Well-Known Member
Q: Why don't Huskers use 911 in an emergency?
A: They can't find 11 on the dial.
Top 10 Classes at Nebraska:
1) Philosophy: Why Don't They Spell It with an "F" ?
2) Pre-Law Seminar: Age of Consent in 50 States
3) Sandwich Making: A Project Course
4) Hand-Shadow Workshop
5) Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Friend
6) Cliff's Notes vs. Monarch Notes: 2 Views of the Classics
7) Hooked on Phonics
8) The College Classroom: A Simulation
9) ABC's: An Extended Version
10) Literature: Coloring inside the lines
Q: Did you hear about the Huskers found frozen in a car at the drive-
in movie in January?
A: They went to see "Closed for Winter".
**Four alumni were climbing a mountain one day. Each was from a
different Big 12 school and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of
all fans. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them
was the most loyal of all.
They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as
they reached the top, the Kansas grad hurled himself off the
mountain, shouting, "This is for KU! Rock Chalk Jayhawk!" as he fell
to his doom.
Not wanting to be outdone, the Oklahoma grad threw himself off the
mountain proclaiming, "This is for Oklahoma! Boomer Sooner!" Seeing
this, the Colorado grad walked over and shouted, "This is for
everyone!" and pushed the Cornhusker off the side of the mountain.
Q: What's the last thing a Nebraska stripper takes off?
A: Her bowling shoes
Q: What does Colorado have that Nebraska doesn't?
A: Everything
**Nebraska football team is taking a classical music course. At the
end of the semester, the instructor gives a test on the only song
they have learned the entire semester; "Old McDonald Had a Farm."
The first question is, "What did Old McDonald have?" A running back
looks to his QB for leadership and asks him for the answer. The QB
answers; "I think it was a farm." The RB smiles, looks at his paper
for a moment, looks back at the QB and asks, "How do you spell
farm?" The QB frowns, and says, "I’m not sure, but I think its E I E
I O."
Q: How did Lawrence Phillips know fall was here?
A: He found Frost on his pumpkin.
Q: What do you call a 240 pound Husker cheerleader?
A: Anorexic.
Q: How many Huskers does it take to eat a 'possum?
A: Two, one to chow down and one to watch for cars.
A: They can't find 11 on the dial.
Top 10 Classes at Nebraska:
1) Philosophy: Why Don't They Spell It with an "F" ?
2) Pre-Law Seminar: Age of Consent in 50 States
3) Sandwich Making: A Project Course
4) Hand-Shadow Workshop
5) Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Friend
6) Cliff's Notes vs. Monarch Notes: 2 Views of the Classics
7) Hooked on Phonics
8) The College Classroom: A Simulation
9) ABC's: An Extended Version
10) Literature: Coloring inside the lines
Q: Did you hear about the Huskers found frozen in a car at the drive-
in movie in January?
A: They went to see "Closed for Winter".
**Four alumni were climbing a mountain one day. Each was from a
different Big 12 school and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of
all fans. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them
was the most loyal of all.
They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as
they reached the top, the Kansas grad hurled himself off the
mountain, shouting, "This is for KU! Rock Chalk Jayhawk!" as he fell
to his doom.
Not wanting to be outdone, the Oklahoma grad threw himself off the
mountain proclaiming, "This is for Oklahoma! Boomer Sooner!" Seeing
this, the Colorado grad walked over and shouted, "This is for
everyone!" and pushed the Cornhusker off the side of the mountain.
Q: What's the last thing a Nebraska stripper takes off?
A: Her bowling shoes
Q: What does Colorado have that Nebraska doesn't?
A: Everything
**Nebraska football team is taking a classical music course. At the
end of the semester, the instructor gives a test on the only song
they have learned the entire semester; "Old McDonald Had a Farm."
The first question is, "What did Old McDonald have?" A running back
looks to his QB for leadership and asks him for the answer. The QB
answers; "I think it was a farm." The RB smiles, looks at his paper
for a moment, looks back at the QB and asks, "How do you spell
farm?" The QB frowns, and says, "I’m not sure, but I think its E I E
I O."
Q: How did Lawrence Phillips know fall was here?
A: He found Frost on his pumpkin.
Q: What do you call a 240 pound Husker cheerleader?
A: Anorexic.
Q: How many Huskers does it take to eat a 'possum?
A: Two, one to chow down and one to watch for cars.
FlatironsBuff
Well-Known Member
Q: What are the best 4 years of a Cornhusker's student life?
A: The 3rd Grade.
Q: What do you get if you breed a groundhog with a Cornhusker?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
Q: What do you get if you drive by Lincoln, NE real slow?
A: A degree.
Q: Did you hear they've decided to cover Memorial Stadium in
cardboard?
A: People at NU have decided that their team always looks better on
paper.
Q: Why won't they let Creighton University have a football team?
A: Because then NU would want one too.
Q: How do you get an University of Nebraska graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: What do they call a computer at NU?
A: An Etch-A-Sketch.
Q: Why do NU students hang their diplomas from their rearview
mirrors?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spot.
Q: How many NU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore class.
Q: What do you call a person from NU in a three piece suit?
A: The defendant.
Q: What's the difference between a litter of puppies and Nebraska
fans?
A: Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.
Q: How many degrees does an NU professor need?
A: 98.6
Q: What do you call a Nebraska cheerleader with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What’s the difference between the Loch Ness Monster, Santa Claus,
and a 2005 Nebraska
Big XII Conference Championship?
A: There is an outside chance of seeing the Loch Ness Monster.
Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Nebraska State Lottery?
A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
A new law was recently passed in Nebraska so that when a couple gets
divorced, they're still brother and sister.
Q: Why do Nebraska football players go to R-rated movies in groups of
18 or more?
A: Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
A long time Husker fan came home from the Big Game and found his
house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department
and shouted, "Hurry over here. Muh house is on fire!" "OK," replied
the fireman, "how do we get there?" "Shucks, don't you fellers still
have
them big red trucks?"
A Nebraska football player walks by a farmer in Haymarket Square
carrying a sack. When they meet, the football player says, "Hey
mister, whatcha got in th' bag?" "Some chickens" replies the
farmer. "If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?" "Shoot, if
ya guesses
right, I'll give you both of 'em!" "OK. Ummmmm...five?"
A Colorado State trooper pulls over a pickup truck with Nebraska
license plates on I-76 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?” The
driver says, "'Bout what?"
A: The 3rd Grade.
Q: What do you get if you breed a groundhog with a Cornhusker?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
Q: What do you get if you drive by Lincoln, NE real slow?
A: A degree.
Q: Did you hear they've decided to cover Memorial Stadium in
cardboard?
A: People at NU have decided that their team always looks better on
paper.
Q: Why won't they let Creighton University have a football team?
A: Because then NU would want one too.
Q: How do you get an University of Nebraska graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: What do they call a computer at NU?
A: An Etch-A-Sketch.
Q: Why do NU students hang their diplomas from their rearview
mirrors?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spot.
Q: How many NU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore class.
Q: What do you call a person from NU in a three piece suit?
A: The defendant.
Q: What's the difference between a litter of puppies and Nebraska
fans?
A: Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.
Q: How many degrees does an NU professor need?
A: 98.6
Q: What do you call a Nebraska cheerleader with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What’s the difference between the Loch Ness Monster, Santa Claus,
and a 2005 Nebraska
Big XII Conference Championship?
A: There is an outside chance of seeing the Loch Ness Monster.
Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Nebraska State Lottery?
A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
A new law was recently passed in Nebraska so that when a couple gets
divorced, they're still brother and sister.
Q: Why do Nebraska football players go to R-rated movies in groups of
18 or more?
A: Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
A long time Husker fan came home from the Big Game and found his
house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department
and shouted, "Hurry over here. Muh house is on fire!" "OK," replied
the fireman, "how do we get there?" "Shucks, don't you fellers still
have
them big red trucks?"
A Nebraska football player walks by a farmer in Haymarket Square
carrying a sack. When they meet, the football player says, "Hey
mister, whatcha got in th' bag?" "Some chickens" replies the
farmer. "If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?" "Shoot, if
ya guesses
right, I'll give you both of 'em!" "OK. Ummmmm...five?"
A Colorado State trooper pulls over a pickup truck with Nebraska
license plates on I-76 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?” The
driver says, "'Bout what?"
