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Concessions that Texas must make before joining the PAC

Deleted member 807

Guest
If Colorado fans were Larry Scott, what concessions would you demand of Texas before joining the PAC-16?

I'll start:
An NFL franchise, preferably the New England Patriots, must move to Austin

Mathew McConoughey is not allowed to take his shirt off in public.

The RIAPFWTAMAR hook'em hand signal is prohibited outside of Texas and is subject to masking on network television (Raise Index and Pinky Fingers Wrap Thumb Accross Middle and Ring)

The Flat Screen TV's in Mack Brown's bathrooms must be disabled during recruiting visits

No more pissing in Waller Creek on game day in Austin

Any revenue earned by the Texas AD in excess of 100M is taxed at 100%

Fifteen of the 40 acres must be sold off.

Your turn....
 
their cheerleaders are forbidden from wearing makeup on television.
 
Conversations between the Texas AD and one or more official from Oklahoma, USC, Texas Tech, Oklahoma State or Oregon must be monitored by a Washington State's Game Day flag waiver or a blogging member of the Utah Muss.

Chip Brown has a 50 foot restraining order from Internet enabled devices and telephones

UT must not be in the same division or pod as UCLA, Cal, Colorado or Washington.
 
Ban anyone who uses the phrase "Don't mess with Texas" or who owns any item with said phrase from appearing at any PAC function
 
Adoption of a new logo affectionately called the Uterlimpdick

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1) Dan Hawkins gets a lifetime, no fire contract to coach the wHorns. Vince Okruch gets the same contract as DC
2) Must spend 15 years recruiting primarily in Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa and Missouri. No more than 1 Texas recruit per year
3) All road trips to be made in a fleet of Chevy Volts
4) They have to explain to Bailer why they can't get them in with the cool kids anymore
5) No votes on any conference matters. Ever. Also, only contact with Larry Scott can be by use of carrier pigeons, or AOL.
 
6 home games limit. No more than 8 games in the state of Texas (including your home games)

No Texas flags, no "Don't mess with Texas" bumper stickers.

Only females are allowed to attend Texas games
texas-tailgating-girls.jpg


If Texas scores a touchdown, a gaggle of midgets have to ride Bevo around the field, smaking it's ass.

Their fans aren't allowed to cross state lines.

Texas AD/President must wear a dunce cap at all league meetings.

An addendum to previous rule: Females allowed to attend games in Texas must be under age 35 and (preferably) older than 18 (16)
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They must bring back the statues to the Coop, and unlock the thread on that topic at Shaggy.

Thujone must declare allegiance to CU, and Allbuffs will maintain first right of refusal for all of his MS Paintings.

Before attending a game, all Texas fans must acknowledge that Texas teams underperform and if it wasn't for Vince Young they would not have won the BCS championship in 2005. Additionally they must acknowledge that Texas is a pretty ****ing ugly state in terms of landscape.

I think I could live with those terms.
 
DeLoss Dodds and Chip Brown have to take turns tongue-punching Bevo in the fart-box before every game on the Godzillatron!

So you just want to add the Godzillatron to the UT pre-game ritual?
 
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