Naming rights for CSU's new stadium - ideas?

[Buffalo Brad]

His naivete is like the Energizer Bunny, it just keeps going and going and going. Great entertainment for the end of the week, I have not laughed this much in a long time.

[tante]

Can you explain to us what the conspiracy theory is?

On Thursday, November 21, 1963 in Washington DC a group of the best engineers in the world laid plans down for the greatest stadium on earth. The plans would magically increase donations and attentance to unsurpassed historical numbers. Before a visibally distraught JFK, they laid out a plan that would change the fabric of college football forever. With these plans any college could build this stadium and become a powerhouse the likes the world has never seen before.


JFK was intitally worried that the Russians would steal the plans for the stadium so he decided to keep them on person until he can take them personally to the top secret government vault buried deep in the hills of Colorado Springs. Inside the vault are other plans like the perpetual motion machine and engine that runs on water, basically anything that could be deemed distasterous to society. His plan was to take them to Colorado Springs after a layover in Dallas.


On Friday, November 22, 1963, in Dallas, Texas at 12.30pm JFK was fatally wounded by gunshots while riding with his wife in a motorcade. In the ensuing chaos the plans went missing and were undiscovered until recently.

[buffedup]

This is why I CAN NOT WAIT to beat CSU to start the season (of course this is impossible because according to gasm CSU has 50 returning starters with Alabama talent, and CU is returning 0 starters with grade school talent). All of this CSU excitement will be flushed down the toilet in the space of 60 football minutes.

[Rugged]

I leave for 8 hours and this happens? Hell, I'd shut down my account and never post again if it meant we would get awesome threads like this.

[cardinalbuf7]

John Deere Stadium at Monsanto Field.

[FlaBuff]

This is why I CAN NOT WAIT to beat CSU to start the season (of course this is impossible because according to gasm CSU has 50 returning starters with Alabama talent, and CU is returning 0 starters with grade school talent). All of this CSU excitement will be flushed down the toilet in the space of 60 football minutes.

And if they don't, Jack Graham will buy Alabama talent, even if it means letting them get "handsy" with every sorority on campus. Only 22% will be prosocuted, but attendance at the trials will go up by an amount that I cannot be sure of. This will create a significant revenue increase over Hughes.

[Skidmark]

[Junction]

On Thursday, November 21, 1963 in Washington DC a group of the best engineers in the world laid plans down for the greatest stadium on earth. The plans would magically increase donations and attentance to unsurpassed historical numbers. Before a visibally distraught JFK, they laid out a plan that would change the fabric of college football forever. With these plans any college could build this stadium and become a powerhouse the likes the world has never seen before.


JFK was intitally worried that the Russians would steal the plans for the stadium so he decided to keep them on person until he can take them personally to the top secret government vault buried deep in the hills of Colorado Springs. Inside the vault are other plans like the perpetual motion machine and engine that runs on water, basically anything that could be deemed distasterous to society. His plan was to take them to Colorado Springs after a layover in Dallas.


On Friday, November 22, 1963, in Dallas, Texas at 12.30pm JFK was fatally wounded by gunshots while riding with his wife in a motorcade. In the ensuing chaos the plans went missing and were undiscovered until recently.

Wait a minute. Are you saying that Jack Graham killed Kennedy?

[Junction]

I leave for 8 hours and this happens? Hell, I'd shut down my account and never post again if it meant we would get awesome threads like this.

I'd say this is worth a shot...

[Junction]

See, now you are just being negative. I'm sure SOME of those things will happen. For instance, can your attendance really get any lower? You gotta be close to losing Div1 status

You laugh, but the thought has crossed my mind that part of the reason Graham is pushing this new stadium so hard is that he is actively worried about losing D-1 status due to attendance. For the last 5 years, their highest average attendance has been just over 23 k, and there have been a couple years under 22k. And things are just getting worse. Their last 3 home games last year averaged barely over 16k, and that was with the last two being against Air Force and Wyoming, their two biggest rivals that are actually on their level. If Graham really is the visionary we keep hearing he is, it might have more to do with him being able to foresee that their current situation is a path straight to D-1AA more than him seeing that a new stadium is a path to the BCS...

[MtnBuff]

You laugh, but the thought has crossed my mind that part of the reason Graham is pushing this new stadium so hard is that he is actively worried about losing D-1 status due to attendance. For the last 5 years, their highest average attendance has been just over 23 k, and there have been a couple years under 22k. And things are just getting worse. Their last 3 home games last year averaged barely over 16k, and that was with the last two being against Air Force and Wyoming, their two biggest rivals that are actually on their level. If Graham really is the visionary we keep hearing he is, it might have more to do with him being able to foresee that their current situation is a path straight to D-1AA more than him seeing that a new stadium is a path to the BCS...

^^This^^

They are in desperation mode. They know that the landscape of college football is changing and they know that there isn't anything they can do to stop it. What they are trying is a hail mary into the LSU defensive backfield with the hope of getting noticed by somebody and getting one of the last invitations. Trouble is that they are not only the ugly girl but they smell and have a bad personality, rumor even has it that they have the clap and herp. No matter what they do they aren't getting the invitation but like any good lovestruck girl they are willing to be completely irrational hoping to catch the attention of the guy they like, even though they know that if he invites her it is just to abuse her.

[Skidmark]

You laugh, but the thought has crossed my mind that part of the reason Graham is pushing this new stadium so hard is that he is actively worried about losing D-1 status due to attendance. For the last 5 years, their highest average attendance has been just over 23 k, and there have been a couple years under 22k. And things are just getting worse. Their last 3 home games last year averaged barely over 16k, and that was with the last two being against Air Force and Wyoming, their two biggest rivals that are actually on their level. If Graham really is the visionary we keep hearing he is, it might have more to do with him being able to foresee that their current situation is a path straight to D-1AA more than him seeing that a new stadium is a path to the BCS...

[FChairbanks]

I have talked to Jack graham multiple times. 100% chance of happening. Tony Frank hired him entirely to get the stadium built. Graham has stated multiple times that the only way it wouldn't be built would be "over my dead body"

Also Stanford built their stadium in 9 months. If we break ground in October we could easily get it done by 2014 (20-24 months).
Not unreasonable at all

i always crack up when gasm compares the lammies with stanford...

derp

edit...sorry, late to the party on this thread and just catching up.

i'd actually like to see the stadium moved to campus, there is no doubt it would improve their current situation.

my main concern lies with pat stryker. didn't she just spend a suitcase full of money to upgrade hughes stadium? i really hope she isn't pissed off that her investment was just a total dumbass move...

[Skidmark]

i always crack up when gasm compares the lammies with stanford...

derp

CSU = Stanford of Animal Husbandry

[HotRack]

Good God. From 9 to 29 pages in 36 hours? Bravo, my good men, bravo I say.

Now all we need is the NoDak St. Bison guy to get in here and take Gasm to town.

We've talked about how their stadium wet dream will go down in a ball of flames after we shellack them during the Rocky Mountain Beatdown, just wait until NoDak St. rolls into Fort Fun and beats them 73-3. That is a game I'll be looking for on the 2 billion channels of sports on DirecTV.