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Greatings from Salt Lake City

Discussion in 'Colorado Football Message Board' started by SanDiegoUte, Nov 19, 2012.

  1. SanDiegoUte

    SanDiegoUte Member

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    Greetings from Salt Lake City

    First things first - I think we can all agree the PAC-12 is soft and it's just a matter of time before Utah and Colorado stop slow-playing these fools and proceed with the inevitable mountainification of college football in the western United States. We Utes have taken the initiative by drafting the first half of our joint plan for the hostile takeover of the PAC-12, which I have graciously included in this post. It is up to Colorado now to finish this bad boy off between bong rips and watching Adult Swim.

    Step 1 - lose a fu*kton of games and make the PAC-10 schools think we aren't a threat
    Step 2 - legalize marijuana in Colorado and demonize it in Utah
    Step 3 - smoke so much on Friday that we all forget about the football slap fight
    Step 4 -
    Step 5 -
    Step 6 -

    Once you figure out the rest, send it back our way and we'll get to it after we run it by our Mormon overlords for approval. Nothing gets done in this state if they don't get their cut.

    On to the epic battle of who sucks less!

    I saw that the line for the game opened with Utah -23. -23?! That is just plain disrespectful. Colorado may be epically $#!+ty this season, but no way are you guys 23 points worse than Utah in Boulder. That is preposterous. Utah is seriously awful this year; especially on offense. If the Buffs nut up and play their best game of the year like they did in Salt Lake City last season, I'm not sure Utah's offense is even capable of scoring much more than 23 points total, so that spread seems ridiculous.

    A ton of Utah's points this season were scored off of kick returns, fumble returns, and interception returns. Utah has scored a lot of non-offensive TDs in our wins this season and a lot of the rest came from fantastic field position. I wouldn't abandon hope for a win if I was a Buff. Utah has a mediocre o-line that can't run block for $#!+; a true freshman QB that has promise, but mostly plays like a true freshman; an underachieving d-line that was supposed to be all-world, but peaked at 'good'; piss poor linebackers that can't cover any passes across the middle; an underachieving secondary that went from leading the PAC-12 in interceptions last season to last place in the PAC-12 this season in spite of having 4 returning starters; a banged-up RB group that has no run blocking to run behind; athletic WRs that honestly drop more balls than they catch; etc. All of that and I haven't even touched on the coaching, which has probably been the biggest issue of all this season.

    Chow held things together on offense with some twine and spackle last season, but Brian Johnson power-washed that $#!+ away when Chow left for Hawaii. Utah has a first year OC that happens to be the youngest coordinator in all of college football at barely 25 years old. Not surprisingly, he schemes and calls plays like a first year OC trying to run a new offensive scheme, without the requisite talent, in a blood thirsty power conference. Translation - our offense is putrid. Utah also has a new o-line coach, a new tight ends coach, and a new cornerbacks coach. This staff may end up doing great things, but as of right now they have managed to lose more than 6 games for the first time in over a decade.

    I could get into more specific details, but I'm assuming nobody on here gives a damn. Utah should win, but I am not foolish enough to think Colorado can't win. If Utah and Colorado combined our win totals we still wouldn't have enough for a bowl game, so this isn't exactly David vs. Goliath, in spite of what the spread says. Tell me, buffs - can you win? If so, why/how? Does Colorado have any strengths on offense or defense? If so, what are they? This game is our bowl game this year, so bear with me while I try to manufacture some excitement.

    Rumble in the Rockies 2012! It's going to be EPIC!
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2012
    Heywood likes this.
  2. Quattro

    Quattro Banned BANNED Club Member

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    Didn't read the whole thing but yes, we are 23 points worse than Utah at home. This CU team is truly pathetic. Scoring three points against UW was a big struggle and our defense couldn't stop a 90 year old in a walker. CU has literally no chance. Our strengths include, but are not limited to having a punter who can punt with both feet, a WR who gets hit by a punt while standing next to the returner, allowing other teams to get big leads to allow the 2nd and 3rd string guys to get playing time, and ummmm yeah I can't think of anymore.
     
  3. SanDiegoUte

    SanDiegoUte Member

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    You seriously can't change the main thread title with the edit feature? I guess that's what I get for not proof-reading. Now it looks like I can't spell 'greet' (and apparently I can't). Do any mods feel like helping me out with that?
     
  4. ElCunado

    ElCunado Club Member Club Member

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    I like this. Thumbs up.
     
  5. 14er

    14er “Imitation is suicide.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

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    We have this new secret play that we only use on first down, guaranteed to blow your mind.
     
  6. FLounder

    FLounder The Buffs will rise again! Club Member

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    And on 4-and-inches (goal) when the game is on the line we have a special play which redirects the ball in to the stands.
     
    14er likes this.
  7. buffedup

    buffedup Cooler than a Popsicle Stand. Club Member

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    That, and you are greeting us from Salt Lake, but named SanDiegoUte. Mass confusion.
     
  8. Jens1893

    Jens1893 Moderator Club Member Junta Member

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    We can´t win.

    Our freshman FB Christian Powell is looking like he can play at the BCS level.
     
  9. tante

    tante Club Member Club Member

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    it won't matter once you beet us.
     
  10. BuffUp

    BuffUp W.T.T.F. Club Member

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    Dude, seriously? yea, we do suk that much... I predict an epic beat down of the Buffs. This will be another scoreless game by Colorado. utes win 25-nothing, yes we will have a safety by botching a punt through our own end-zone. embree laughs it off as "I don't know" and we start preparing a secret offense for next year. poor seniors
     
  11. Buffnik

    Buffnik Real name isn't Nik Club Member Junta Member

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    I don't agree that the Pac-12 is soft.

    I also don't care much about the result on Saturday. I just want to find out what's going to happen with our coaching staff.
     
  12. Uncle Ken

    Uncle Ken Orr no morr Club Member

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    SD Ute:

    We will give your non-Jordan Wynn quarterback the legs of Michael Vick and the arm of a 26-year-old Steve Young. Your underwhelming offensive line will provide endless protection and blow enormous running lanes all the way to the secondary. Got a gimpy running back without vision? Perfect, he will set a school rushing record--possibly a conference or NCAA record too.

    Your receivers will find a giant bubble in the middle of the field for easy ten-yard receptions, which they will exploit for an additional 17 yards (or however far it is to the end zone) in yards after catch.

    Your defense will benefit from sacks, turnovers and thee and outs. We've scored three points at home in our last ten quarters of football, I believe.

    Think we're bad on the road? You should see us at Folsom. You will own the home-field advantage as you play in front of 20 thousand spectators who may or may not be fans by halftime.

    I can't wait...
     
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  13. Tractor

    Tractor Club Member Club Member

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    We'll be favored by 23 against you in BBall this winter
     
  14. BuffUp

    BuffUp W.T.T.F. Club Member

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    REP -PERFECT answer
     
  15. boulder77

    boulder77 Certified Organic Club Member

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    Hate to tell you Sparky, but Cottonwood High School would be favored by 23 against CU this year .......................
     
  16. Junction

    Junction Moderator Club Member

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    Clearly, this is a Cougar from Kansas City pretending to be a Ute from San Diego greating us from Salt Lake....
     
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  17. fatbuff

    fatbuff Well-Known Member

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    This thread is pretty greating.
     
  18. SanDiegoUte

    SanDiegoUte Member

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    I figured that your 1-10 record and our 4-7 record would be evidence enough that I was being sarcastic. If the PAC-12 was soft, both of our schools wouldn't be getting our teeth kicked in every week in new and interesting ways.
     
  19. Daaah

    Daaah Club Member Club Member

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    Wrong again, man. See Fresno State.
     
  20. SanDiegoUte

    SanDiegoUte Member

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    No need for confusion. I was born and raised in San Diego and moved to Salt Lake City for college at the U of U. People do that.
     
  21. buffedup

    buffedup Cooler than a Popsicle Stand. Club Member

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    Unpossible.
     
  22. Clean Undies

    Clean Undies Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    How do we know you aren't a BYU fan disguised as a San Diego born Ute fan that moved to Salt Lake City?

    Allbuffs has been known to suffer through the identity theft of BYU posers followed by Ute appologists. You cannot be too careful on CU-UU rivalry week.
     
  23. Liver

    Liver modded mod Club Member Junta Member

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    I could edit the the title but it is effing perfect the way it is.
     
  24. CVilleBuff

    CVilleBuff Club Member Club Member

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    If only there was a way for our football team and your basketball team to play....then, we've got ourselves a ma'****in ballgame!!
     
  25. Uncle Ken

    Uncle Ken Orr no morr Club Member

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    Why? He totally spelled "gratings" incorrectly.

    Wait. Has that joke been made yet? ****ing Miami'ed mother****ers!
     
  26. chipwich

    chipwich Administrator Club Member Junta Member

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    So you're saying there's a chance ?
     
  27. 61_Shasta

    61_Shasta Member

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    The sad part is that some of try to be nice as we've seen from the other 10 schools

    And people like you are dicks. Sorry for the persecution syndrome your board seems to have.

     
  28. 61_Shasta

    61_Shasta Member

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    Guy was just trying to be friendly. Apparently something your fanbase can't understand.
     
  29. tante

    tante Club Member Club Member

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    Utah fans have a great sense of humor.
     
  30. Uncle Ken

    Uncle Ken Orr no morr Club Member

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    I think you're a little confused by what's going on here. While I don't necessarily blame you for that--it can get a little esoteric around here--I assure you that the lack of understanding isn't on our part.
     

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