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If Big XII Teams were Countries

Discussion in 'Colorado Football Message Board' started by boulder77, Jul 7, 2010.

  1. boulder77

    boulder77 Certified Organic Club Member

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    Posted by Woelk in his blog - obviously written by a Whorn .... :jester:



    Texas is like the USA – Wealthy, talented, and with seemingly endless resources. They have a big ego, but are deserving of it because they win at almost everything they do. Others often despise them out of jealousy. Their money and wealth make the world go round, and everyone wants a piece.


    Texas A&M is like China – Big, powerful, and rival of Texas (USA). They live in a male dominated society, and thus their women are not allowed to be cheerleaders. Their money and power also make the world go round.


    Oklahoma is like Mexico – Having no resources of their own, they have to invade the border of Texas (USA) in order to survive.


    Oklahoma State is like Venezuela – There wasn’t a whole lot there to start with, but without the oil money they would be nothing there at all. They have a crazy guy in charge who often shouts nonsense when he speaks.


    Baylor is like Israel – A feisty little religious enclave that could not survive without Texas (USA). However, if provoked, they WILL kill you.


    Colorado is like Canada – A small, unimportant bastion of liberals who are not very good at anything. Like Canada , they are bad at all sports other than hockey. Like Canada , they produce no GDP.


    Nebraska is like Russia – A former super power who frequently stirs up trouble because they still think they are a super power. Nebraska ( Russia ) thinks it is the equal of Texas (USA), and pouts in public when it doesn’t get its baby way. When they do not get their way, they take their ball and go home. Go big RED!


    Missouri is like Iran and North Korea – a definite member of the axis of evil. Conniving and loyal to no one, you cannot believe anything they say (you can only watch in amazement at what they do). Like Iran and North Korea , they are hated and despised by everyone–even the Swiss.


    Iowa State is like Switzerland – Boring, unimportant, not good at much of anything, but neutral and without enemies. Even the hawkeyes like the Swiss.


    Texas Tech is like Australia – Big, dusty, and a Texas version of “down under”. Cowboys like Aussie’s drink a lot of beer and carry weapons.


    Kansas is like France – KU is full of socialists and they think they are better than everyone else. This high opinion of themselves is not shared by anyone else in the world. Like France , KU cannot be trusted or counted on during a time of need.


    K-State is like Ireland – A gritty, feisty, over-achieving little country with a large inferiority complex. What they lack in resources, they make up by determination and people. Others can’t find them on a map, but they like them because they are fun, friendly, and like to drink beer.
     
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  2. Mick Ronson

    Mick Ronson Well-Known Member

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    somebody explain the ATM one to me. really? ATM's "money and power" makes the world go 'round? OU with 6 or whatever national championships is Mexico?

    Baylor, LOL. Israel? if you are a Texas school, you get your ass kissed. outside Texas, slur. so transparent. and stupid.

    Canada and the US are the world's largest trading partners. hard to say that's "unimportant". and, has nothing to do with CU by analogy or otherwise needless to say.
     
  3. dply

    dply Doble hoja Club Member

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    Woot CU is good at hockey. Seriously who wrote this crap. Baylor will kill you? Maybe the ATF will. I'm surprised they didn't go a CU is The Netherlands because they smoke weed.
     
  4. Clean Undies

    Clean Undies Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    If the dooshbag who authored that post were a country, he'd be Retardistan.
     
  5. boulder77

    boulder77 Certified Organic Club Member

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    Don't be callin' Chip any names .... :smile2:
     
  6. Mr. Babar

    Mr. Babar I have no elephant books Club Member

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    Amusing stuff - all good parodies have a hint of truth. Love the NU/Russia match-up. Not worthy of bashing or being dissected by serious analysis.
     
  7. El Gringo

    El Gringo Pura Vida Club Member

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    Agreed - an entertaining read. I found the Okie Lite analogy particularly funny.
     
  8. sackman

    sackman Club Member Club Member

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    CU as the Netherlands makes much more sense. Not a superpower, but has just enough pull to influence things from time to time. Plus the whole pot thing.
     
  9. BuffAlum2007

    BuffAlum2007 Well-Known Member

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    Canada has Vancouver...close enough for me...
     
  10. Clean Undies

    Clean Undies Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    UT = Brazil. An overpopulated banana republic known for exploiting the landscape who has enjoyed a recent run of prosperity. The biggest swinging dick in the South

    A&M: Libya - Dictatorships like their military uniforms and jack boots.

    Baylor: Indonesia - Part of an overpopulated region where religion is the top priority, but not so batsh!t crazy to be considered a threat. Not opposed to the application of political pressure through bribes and lobbying their more industrialized peers.

    Texas Tech: Scotland. Always under the boot of bigger, more organized neighbors. Can be feisty, but it's more common to focus on drug use, boozing, and dependency on the oil industry.

    OU: Saudi Arabia - Loads of money and a labor force made up of exploited immigrants. Although one of the stronger players in the region, they are known to choke when big things are on the line.

    Oklahoma State: Monaco. One rich dude defines the whole place. Absent the royal prince, nobody would even know where it is.

    Mizzou: Poland. Sandwiched in the middle of the continent. Often overrun by it's stronger, more powerful neighbors.

    Kansas: Bosnia - Good basketball. Always in trouble for internal fighting and corruption.

    Iowa State: - Greece. Lots of boys wrestling each other. Not the most profitable member of any alliance, but otherwise loyal.

    Kansas State: Mongolia. There is a big exciting world with lots happening, and none of it is going on here. Bringing back Ghingis Khan from the dead to restore past glory is a risky strategy

    Nebraska: China. Homeland of a red clad hoard that floods the rest of the world with polyester clothing and cheap commodities. Although they are abundantly proud of their history and they consider themselves the most honorable people in the world, nobody else trusts them.

    Colorado: Jamaica - Overrun by tourists hoping to get high. Home of some of the fastest runners in the world. Wiped out by some kind of hurricane every decade, causing the need to constantly rebuild.
     
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  11. dply

    dply Doble hoja Club Member

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    Much better
     
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  12. The Guest

    The Guest Guest

    Snyder is way older than Ghengis Khan. Just sayin'...
     
  13. Buffnik

    Buffnik Real name isn't Nik Club Member Junta Member

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    Skid, that was spot on. :lol:

    YMSSR
     
  14. buff4bcs1985

    buff4bcs1985 Hail to the King

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    :yeahthat:
     
  15. UrbanaBuff

    UrbanaBuff Member

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    Where does Texas get off with such a large ego? There are many programs that have won more than them recently (USC, Florida, LSU, Ohio St). By my count, they have one national title in 40 years. And they were underdogs in that game, and overmatched, and needed a miracle ending to pull it out. There other title game appearance came on a fluke play that put another second on the clock against NU. So its not like they are some big, bad bully that noone can keep up with. They amass 11 wins every year by mugging the likes of Rice and UTEP. Given their recruiting success, I'd say they are even underachieving on the field.
     
  16. tante

    tante Club Member Club Member

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    skid, that was one of the best post I have read in a long time
     
  17. Corn_Fan

    Corn_Fan Member

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    You nailed it UrbanaBuff. Texas needs to win a few NCs before acting the way that they act. Shut up already Texas!
     
  18. boulder77

    boulder77 Certified Organic Club Member

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    I agree with your point, and the last thing I am is a defender of the republic of Texas. However, you really have to understand the Texas mentality (mental illness??) to understand why Texans feel the way they do. The starter in all of this is money. Texas in general, and UT specifically, over the years has always had more money than everyone else. And to show how proud they are of having so much money, they are not afraid to spend it to prove the point to everyone else. The old saying "everything is bigger in Texas" has a real basis in this. UT has one of the biggest stadiums, the biggest video board, the biggest drum, the biggest alumni band, the biggest endowment, the biggest ....... you get my drift. Texans are fiercely proud, and while most Texans I have met are extremely friendly, they also are not shy to remind you of how "big" they are. If the argument was based solely on national championships in football, there wouldn't be a question that UT is back in the pack. But, I would be willing to bet that their arrogance/pride is based on a whole lot more than MNC's in football. They have excellent academics, top-notch facilities, and have had widespread national success in a lot of sports that aren't football. Tell me why they shouldn't be proud?
     
  19. GregInArlington

    GregInArlington Well-Known Member

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    As a Texas fan, I was proud... I was even proud in the NC loss of the way they came back in the second half. However, since they decided to puss out and play the same crap dustbowl teams over and over again for the next 5 years, I'm not nearly as excited about the Horns. I've even contemplated moving out of the region.

    Big 12 south:
    texas cupcake..jpg texas tech cupcak&.jpg baylor cupcake..jpg
    aTm cupcake..jpg osu cupcake..jpg ou cupcake..jpg
     
  20. Ruckus

    Ruckus Peep my words. Club Member

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    Your range of photoshop skills is astounding.
     
  21. dply

    dply Doble hoja Club Member

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    Who doesn't like cupcakes?
     
  22. MtnBuff

    MtnBuff Not allowed in Barzil 2 Club Member

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    Texas much more like France. Think they are a superpower and insist that others treat them like a superpower but seem to always figure out a way to lose in the end. Think everyone should speak their language and consult with them before any decision (even though they have a hard enough time making decisions for themselves) even when the decisions don't really pertain to them or are a result of their bumbling heavyhandedness.
     
  23. Ruckus

    Ruckus Peep my words. Club Member

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    Everyone likes cupcakes. Including UT, OU, OSU, TT, aTm, and Baylor. Range.
     
  24. Mick Ronson

    Mick Ronson Well-Known Member

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    OU usually plays a couple deece OOC teams (Bama, Oregon, Miami, UW of the top of my head), OSU has played UCLA, UGA recently. it's the (same refrain) Texas schools that suck it out loud and keep playing Rice and UTEP.
     

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