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The 2010 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25 (from deadspin.com)

Discussion in 'Colorado Football Message Board' started by Bienemy4life, Aug 30, 2010.

  1. Bienemy4life

    Bienemy4life Member

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    It's quite offensive, but I found it amusing. Again, it's offensive so avert thine eyes if you have weak knees.

    The 2010 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25
     
  2. ElCunado

    ElCunado Club Member Club Member

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    I spit coffee on my keyboard. Funny stuff.
     
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  3. Bienemy4life

    Bienemy4life Member

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    Yeah, me too. Salient to CU fans, or humans really --

    7. Oklahoma, 8. Nebraska: I don't even know why we bother to differentiate states like Oklahoma from Kansas or Nebraska. Shouldn't these all just be lumped into one giant, ****ty state? We don't even have to call it a state. We can just call the US Central Territories. It could appear on maps as a giant black block. Just ignore this section, world. Mind our appearance while we renovate so that it doesn't look like the arid, man-zombie landscape it currently is. We'll replace it with a Michael Kors outlet store by 2015.

    9. Iowa: Oh, look! It's the Big Ten's rapiest team! No wonder Christian Peter's alma mater wanted to join this conference so very badly. Iowa is the number one producer of corn among all American states. Many of its farmers are heavily subsidized to grow corn, turn that corn into syrup, and then rape every other foodstuff in the grocery store with that syrup so that you and your kids get fatter and fatter and fatter until you look just like everyone who lives in Iowa. Want to know why you can't resist that Mr. Pibb, tubby? FARMER BOB IS YOUR MAN. I also blame Iowa for Field of Dreams, and all the losers who tell me I don't have a heart if I don't like Field of Dreams. Well, **** THAT. That movie was gay.


     
  4. Bienemy4life

    Bienemy4life Member

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    Yeah, me too. Salient to CU fans, or humans really --

    7. Oklahoma, 8. Nebraska: I don't even know why we bother to differentiate states like Oklahoma from Kansas or Nebraska. Shouldn't these all just be lumped into one giant, ****ty state? We don't even have to call it a state. We can just call the US Central Territories. It could appear on maps as a giant black block. Just ignore this section, world. Mind our appearance while we renovate so that it doesn't look like the arid, man-zombie landscape it currently is. We'll replace it with a Michael Kors outlet store by 2015.

    9. Iowa: Oh, look! It's the Big Ten's rapiest team! No wonder Christian Peter's alma mater wanted to join this conference so very badly. Iowa is the number one producer of corn among all American states. Many of its farmers are heavily subsidized to grow corn, turn that corn into syrup, and then rape every other foodstuff in the grocery store with that syrup so that you and your kids get fatter and fatter and fatter until you look just like everyone who lives in Iowa. Want to know why you can't resist that Mr. Pibb, tubby? FARMER BOB IS YOUR MAN. I also blame Iowa for Field of Dreams, and all the losers who tell me I don't have a heart if I don't like Field of Dreams. Well, **** THAT. That movie was gay.


     

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