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Utah, the whole state, is f-ed up

Discussion in 'Colorado Football Message Board' started by rodrigo, Jul 17, 2010.

  1. rodrigo

    rodrigo Well-Known Member

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    That's all.
     
  2. buffwings

    buffwings Club Member Club Member

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    umm.... OK
     
  3. FlatironsBuff

    FlatironsBuff Club Member Club Member

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    Eh, I love parts of Utah. I think it is possible that BYU fans have been trying to stir up crap, as there are alot oo decent Utah fans here too. I will reserve judgement of fan bases, but still, there are many places in Utah I look forward to going to for sprats and recreation. I never, ever felt that way about Nebraska.
     
  4. Junction

    Junction Moderator Club Member

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    I'm pretty sure sprats are illegal in Utah...
     
  5. Clean Undies

    Clean Undies Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    Yeah that. The 60 miles on either side of the Colorado river are spectacular. And the river itself is even better. Zion. Bryce. Cap Reef. All those national parks probably make Utah the most scenically beautiful state in the lower 48.

    The Provo-Orem-SLC corridor doesn't do much for me, though.
     
  6. The Guest

    The Guest Guest

    The place may be beautiful, but it's infested with trolls.
     
  7. CUBUFF80

    CUBUFF80 No Stinkin' Title Club Member

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    I'll take any mountain state over the flatlands under any circumstances. I do not want to engage in anti-mormon rhetoric, freedom of religion is a basic right in this country.
     
  8. Junction

    Junction Moderator Club Member

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    :yeahthat:
     
  9. Daaah

    Daaah Club Member Club Member

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    Unless you are a muslim or from waco.
     
  10. Mick Ronson

    Mick Ronson Well-Known Member

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    i got arrested for possession in Utah. not my favorite state, really. i don't claim that it's an objective opinion. no problem with Ute fans. the cheerleader's underwear was like a men's brief, however. not exactly SEC strumpet material....just an observation.
     
  11. FChairbanks

    FChairbanks muthaka slayer Club Member

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    dare we ask what you were carrying, mick?

    there has to be a story there somewhere....
     
  12. The Guest

    The Guest Guest

    As I read the post, he was in possession of cheerleaders' underwear.
     
  13. FChairbanks

    FChairbanks muthaka slayer Club Member

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    and prozac...
     
  14. Mick Ronson

    Mick Ronson Well-Known Member

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    oh yeah, there's a story....kinda too long. i talked this guy i knew in college to let me borrow his Nissan Pathfinder to drive to LA and SF. so, after getting pulled over in a podunk speed trap, officer was tripping that my DL didn't match the papers in the glovebox. i had 2 things, marijuana and the other rhymes with dustbrooms. not a lot. enough for a couple joints. there's a lot of coke traffic on I-70 and then south to Vegas and vice versa so the Sevier County police force is a combo mini DEA and paramilitary force. possession is a (wait for it....) 3rd degree felony in Utah. i had the plead guilty to 3 misdemeanors after they tried to scare the bejesus out of me and get me to rat on my buddy. i spent about 6 hours in a cell, they dressed me in the orange jumpsuit and special slippers. paid about 1500$ in bail, spent 3 joyless days in a motel either Salina or Richfield, UT waiting for a hearing. the arresting officer's name was Denis, spelled like penis. the judge was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a mickey mouse watch at the hearing. they tried to be all tough, but my dad is an attorney and got the name of legit legal counsel in the area and they backed down. the bail/fine, 3 years probation, and a fine for driving barefoot (this was a moral win for them, somehow). i also had been on the Dean's list every semester in college so their "menace to society" angle wasn't really gonna play.

    the best part of the whole deal was that we stayed in Green River the night before. at the motel, they had a tree with christmas lights on it. i had unscrewed one of the bulbs, kinda the medium sized outdoor kind.....about 2 inches tall. it was red. had it in my pocket. also, in my pocket was a small rock i picked up on the side of the road. and, in the room, they had those single use dental floss thingies with the plastic handles that look like a bow. i grabbed a handful of those before leaving Green River.

    pocket: red light bulb, rock, about 10 floss thingies. they were absolutely convinced the combo of those 3 things was some kind of crazy paraphernalia they hadn't yet seen...since there was no logical connection to them. they asked me about it like 4 times. i had a hard time not laughing. good times.

    but, it did suck overall.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2010
    FChairbanks and dply like this.
  15. The Guest

    The Guest Guest

    Christ, you were driving barefoot? You're lucky they didn't Gary Gilmore your ass.
     
  16. dply

    dply Doble hoja Club Member

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    Dustbrooms, mary j, and driving barefoot. You dirty hippy.
     
  17. FChairbanks

    FChairbanks muthaka slayer Club Member

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    reptastic story!


    the question that begs to be asked is....why did you steal the bulb?




    (i am gonna go out on a limb and say that you had tested out the "dustbrooms" before you got busted....)
     
  18. Clean Undies

    Clean Undies Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    I heard that a roadside rock, dental floss sticks and a Christmas tree bulb are used to freebase Prozac.

    There's a diagram somewhere on the Internet.

    Selling Prozac in Utah. That must be one of the easiest jobs on the planet.
     
  19. Mick Ronson

    Mick Ronson Well-Known Member

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    no idea on the bulb. just one of those things. looking at the Green River while my buddy checked out of the motel, and there it was on the tree while i was killing time. the dustbrooms were old and like a cap and two stems, from a party a month before. as we were getting ready to hit the road....i had them in a drawer, i thought....might come in handy once we get out to Cali. nothing about it was the product of forethought or a plan. added up, there was some stupidity in the mix on my part, sure.
     
  20. FChairbanks

    FChairbanks muthaka slayer Club Member

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    hmmm...just so i have this straight.

    you're standing there in the lobby while your buddy is paying the bill...


    ...and there is a christmas tree with lights on it...


    ...and you thought....

    "that red one would be cool to have"



    ...and there were no drugs involved at that point...




    :huh:
     
  21. Mick Ronson

    Mick Ronson Well-Known Member

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    wasn't a christmas tree. no lobby, it was ****bag motel. it was like a small oak tree or something outside, next to the parking lot. souvenir, i don't know. i was bored. it was there. no drugs. we got drunk the night before in the room after wisely leaving a redneck local bar after one very quick Budweiser. in the last 15 years, that stretch of 70 across the border is a helluva lot more "cosmopolitan" than it used to be with people going to Moab and Arches and whatnot.
     
  22. FChairbanks

    FChairbanks muthaka slayer Club Member

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    okay...that clears it up...
     
  23. The Guest

    The Guest Guest


    Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. An oak tree or something. Okay then, so no drugs...
     
  24. Mick Ronson

    Mick Ronson Well-Known Member

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    so, now when you get high the first thing to go is your ability to come up with the latin species names for trees? that's the premise in play? :smile2::lol:

    my buddy Cameron, with me, afterward....commenting on the light bulb, floss, rock thing said: "when they were asking you.......wouldn't it have been great if you could just have picked up the bulb, put the socket end on your forehead and had it light the f*** up...?".
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2010
  25. Clean Undies

    Clean Undies Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    This is a tribute to Mick's memories of Utah.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  26. Idot Buff

    Idot Buff Club Member Club Member

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    Skiddy has complete control of the web...is he related to Al Gore? It is like he can pull anything he wants from any conceivable location to make his point....
     
  27. boulder77

    boulder77 Certified Organic Club Member

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    Wait, Mick is the former Georgia AD ...... ?
     
  28. Junction

    Junction Moderator Club Member

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    Let me guess, your girlfriend Sloane was with you and you were in Cameron's father's Ferrari??? :smile2:
     
  29. rodrigo

    rodrigo Well-Known Member

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    Whoa. That was one seriously mystical threadjack...
     
  30. FlaBuff

    FlaBuff I drive a Dodge Stratus! Club Member

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    "son, what you have to understand, through your hippie lettuce haze, is that we take driving seriously here...and driving with shoes on isn't just a good idea, it's the law!"

    --Officer Justice, Utah division
     

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