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Boulder Buff's helpful tip of the week

Duff Man

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Junta Member
If you want to get hammered during the game, mute the TV and turn on the KOA broadcast. Proceed to drink in each of the following instances:

1. Mark Johnson exclaims that a QB "rifled" a pass.
2. Mark Johnson mentions a snap being "waist high".
3. If more than five minutes passes during game action and the score is not mentioned.
4. Larry Zimmer sounds drunk.

Feel free to add your own.
 
Good call.

BTW, go ahead and chug a beer if Mark Johnson says "rifles a laser beam" ever again.
 
MJ uses the term "puts the foot to it" a lot too....

and of course, the ever popular "TOUCHDOWN, TOUCHDOWN COLORADO". Overall, I like MJ. When Zim was still doing the play by play at the end, it was hard to listen to, and even harder to figure out what was going on. The Klatt to Klatt call took the cake, although the Klatt to Westbrook call was a close second.
 
If you want to get hammered during the game, mute the TV and turn on the KOA broadcast. Proceed to drink in each of the following instances:

1. Mark Johnson exclaims that a QB "rifled" a pass.
2. Mark Johnson mentions a snap being "waist high".
3. If more than five minutes passes during game action and the score is not mentioned.
4. Larry Zimmer sounds drunk.

Feel free to add your own.

Under these rules most posters here wouldn't make it to halftime before passing out!

:beer::drink2::drink:
 
"reared back" = Drink.
Forgets to mention down and distance = Drink
"rumbles" in reference to a run = drink
"rumbles in reference to speedy = 2drinks
Inane rant about meaningless official action = shot.
 
If you want to get hammered during the game, mute the TV and turn on the KOA broadcast. Proceed to drink in each of the following instances:

1. Mark Johnson exclaims that a QB "rifled" a pass.
2. Mark Johnson mentions a snap being "waist high".
3. If more than five minutes passes during game action and the score is not mentioned.
4. Larry Zimmer sounds drunk.

Feel free to add your own.


How about when that Dork describes the colors of the uniforms and number shapes as he tries to paint a picture. He is painful.

I always liked listening to Zim.
 
If you want to get hammered during the game, mute the TV and turn on the KOA broadcast. Proceed to drink in each of the following instances:

1. Mark Johnson exclaims that a QB "rifled" a pass.
2. Mark Johnson mentions a snap being "waist high".
3. If more than five minutes passes during game action and the score is not mentioned.
4. Larry Zimmer sounds drunk.

Feel free to add your own.
5. Mark Johnson corrects himself mid-play and misses the action
 
How about mentioning that you never saw the refs signal touchdown 10 minutes after the play.
 
How about these two clowns arguing about how the refs didn't signal a TD for KjSU's last TD. They were still sure that no one signaled TD even after Victor Rodgers on the sideline confirmed the ref signaled TD. Couldn't stop laughing at that.
 
"reared back" = Drink.
remembers to mention down and distance = Drink
"rumbles" in reference to a run = drink
"rumbles in reference to speedy = 2drinks
Inane rant about meaningless official action = shot.

just to be fair. also, you'll have time to drink most 3rd downs waiting for MJ to finish describing the action for the 2nd time before letting you know if there's a conversion or not.
 
Here is the situation that always forces me to drink.

"It is 3rd and short, this is a critical third down for the buffs. Hand off and dive up the middle!!!"

"You Mark, this game reminds me of the Nebraska game in 64 where....blah, blah, blah" ---they go on for several minutes and never tell you if they made the first down...all the time I am yelling at the radio....My wife told me to quit yelling at them as they cannot hear me.

Have no listened to Larry and Mark except for one game this year.
 
What about "hammered down" at the 10 yard line. I always watch the highlights expecting someone to get lit up, and am always disappointed.
 
Mark Johnson extremely long marginal play descriptions. "Trips right, ball at hash mark, hand off to speedy, running behind Miller, nifty move evading one would be tackler, nice spin move, tackled by so and so and assisted by his mother and two sisters, blah blah blah." At this point it pretty much sounds like Stewart broke off at least a 10 yard run (as Mark is talking endlessly so the ball carrier must be continuing to move, right?). Meanwhile he chimes in at the end with "1 yard gain". Mother****ing ***t! That whole description for a 1 yard gain. I was just about sure we got a first down on that play.
 
Mark Johnson extremely long marginal play descriptions. "Trips right, ball at hash mark, hand off to speedy, running behind Miller, nifty move evading one would be tackler, nice spin move, tackled by so and so and assisted by his mother and two sisters, blah blah blah." At this point it pretty much sounds like Stewart broke off at least a 10 yard run (as Mark is talking endlessly so the ball carrier must be continuing to move, right?). Meanwhile he chimes in at the end with "1 yard gain". Mother****ing ***t! That whole description for a 1 yard gain. I was just about sure we got a first down on that play.
He does this incessantly. Drives me bonkers. He describes two yard plays the same way he does twenty yard plays, and leaves you guessing what happened.
 
im able to follow the game quite well listening to them. if it was a touchback, i know it will be 1st and 10 at the 20. if the first play ran is a 5 yard gain, i know it will be 2nd and 5 at the 25. i dont need him to tell me that. if the next play is an 8 yard gain, i know that is a first down. 8 + 25 = 33. first and 10 at the 33. i dont need him to tell me that.

:smile2:
 
im able to follow the game quite well listening to them. if it was a touchback, i know it will be 1st and 10 at the 20. if the first play ran is a 5 yard gain, i know it will be 2nd and 5 at the 25. i dont need him to tell me that. if the next play is an 8 yard gain, i know that is a first down. 8 + 25 = 33. first and 10 at the 33. i dont need him to tell me that.

:smile2:

Agree, it takes some time to get the hang of how they call the game but they do a pretty decent job. I spend some weekends at a place in the mountains where we don't have TV and spend time listening to various radio calls of games from all over the region (pick up from California, Texas, NM, Kansas, Minnesota, Utah, and others) and MJ is at least competent if not better than most. Not perfect by a long sight but he cares about the Buffs and knows what he is calling.
 
While I posted above what bugs me about the Mark/Zim/Rogers broadcasts, I would like to write that I do think they do a very good job. I enjoy listening to their broadcasts.
 
I would love it if Johnson called Zimmer a jackass again thinking the mike was off.

Johnson saying................TOUCHDOWN..................TOUCHDOWN COLORADO!!! about 6 times would make my day.

I wish the KOA signal made it to Lincoln so I could listen while I watch.
 
While I posted above what bugs me about the Mark/Zim/Rogers broadcasts, I would like to write that I do think they do a very good job. I enjoy listening to their broadcasts.

I like the fact that, if the game is televised, you get the KOA broadcast 5 to 20 seconds before the TV broadcast so you know what is gonna happen before it does. I paid cubuffs.com for their buff tv stream of the KSU game. Bad investment. While they are busy showing crowd shots or canned Chip cheers, the live game is being missed. I complained but got no offer of a refund. Guess that 10 bucks goes to Hawk.
 
im able to follow the game quite well listening to them. if it was a touchback, i know it will be 1st and 10 at the 20. if the first play ran is a 5 yard gain, i know it will be 2nd and 5 at the 25. i dont need him to tell me that. if the next play is an 8 yard gain, i know that is a first down. 8 + 25 = 33. first and 10 at the 33. i dont need him to tell me that.

:smile2:
I'd be great if it were like that - the problem with MJ is he waits until RIGHT before third down (of that hypothetical sequence), if at all, to say that 2nd down was an 8 yard gain. I can do the math very quick, I can even picture in my head what is going on, but the basics... down and distance man, down and distance.
 
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