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Concessions that Texas must make before joining the PAC

Discussion in 'Colorado Football Message Board' started by Clean Undies, Sep 13, 2011.

  1. Clean Undies

    Clean Undies Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    If Colorado fans were Larry Scott, what concessions would you demand of Texas before joining the PAC-16?

    I'll start:
    An NFL franchise, preferably the New England Patriots, must move to Austin

    Mathew McConoughey is not allowed to take his shirt off in public.

    The RIAPFWTAMAR hook'em hand signal is prohibited outside of Texas and is subject to masking on network television (Raise Index and Pinky Fingers Wrap Thumb Accross Middle and Ring)

    The Flat Screen TV's in Mack Brown's bathrooms must be disabled during recruiting visits

    No more pissing in Waller Creek on game day in Austin

    Any revenue earned by the Texas AD in excess of 100M is taxed at 100%

    Fifteen of the 40 acres must be sold off.

    Your turn....
     
  2. Hugegroove

    Hugegroove Club Member Club Member

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    Butcher Bevo and force the OL & DL to eat him rare. :wow:
     
  3. Liver

    Liver modded mod Club Member Junta Member

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    their cheerleaders are forbidden from wearing makeup on television.
     
  4. LaserDeathHawk

    LaserDeathHawk Club Member Club Member

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    I want a football helmet full of cottage cheese and naked pictures of Bea Arthur
     
  5. Mick Ronson

    Mick Ronson Well-Known Member

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    buncha fake blonde girls in chaps blow me. twice.
     
  6. CUFan

    CUFan Welcome back Club Member

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    Must stop saying burnt orange.
     
  7. Clean Undies

    Clean Undies Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    Conversations between the Texas AD and one or more official from Oklahoma, USC, Texas Tech, Oklahoma State or Oregon must be monitored by a Washington State's Game Day flag waiver or a blogging member of the Utah Muss.

    Chip Brown has a 50 foot restraining order from Internet enabled devices and telephones

    UT must not be in the same division or pod as UCLA, Cal, Colorado or Washington.
     
  8. Buffnik

    Buffnik Real name isn't Nik Club Member Junta Member

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    Ban anyone who uses the phrase "Don't mess with Texas" or who owns any item with said phrase from appearing at any PAC function
     
  9. Heywood

    Heywood The actual El Guapo Club Member

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    fify
     
  10. Clean Undies

    Clean Undies Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    The lyrics to "Eyes of Texas are upon us" are officially changed to "I've been working on the railroad"
     
    buff4bcs1985 and SBG like this.
  11. CUBUFF80

    CUBUFF80 No Stinkin' Title Club Member

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    Must wear tangerine colored pants on the road.
     
  12. FChairbanks

    FChairbanks muthaka slayer Club Member

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    there must be a 200 year moratorium on presidential candidates hailing from the state of texas
     
    SBG likes this.
  13. huskermark

    huskermark Well-Known Member

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    Eat the guts while the other members of the PAC dine on the steaks
     
  14. CU827

    CU827 Well-Known Member

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    and 67 copies of Moby Dick.
     
  15. Clean Undies

    Clean Undies Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    Adoption of a new logo affectionately called the Uterlimpdick

    [​IMG]
     
  16. Ruckus

    Ruckus Peep my words. Club Member

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    Sounds Trinidadish.
     
  17. Tadploe

    Tadploe Member Club Member

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    Texas must become part of Mexico.
     
    SBG likes this.
  18. Junction

    Junction Moderator Club Member

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    1) Dan Hawkins gets a lifetime, no fire contract to coach the wHorns. Vince Okruch gets the same contract as DC
    2) Must spend 15 years recruiting primarily in Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa and Missouri. No more than 1 Texas recruit per year
    3) All road trips to be made in a fleet of Chevy Volts
    4) They have to explain to Bailer why they can't get them in with the cool kids anymore
    5) No votes on any conference matters. Ever. Also, only contact with Larry Scott can be by use of carrier pigeons, or AOL.
     
  19. mdelpizzo_1

    mdelpizzo_1 My Dixie Wrecked Club Member

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    The movie or the book?
     
  20. Buffnik

    Buffnik Real name isn't Nik Club Member Junta Member

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    The medical condition
     
  21. mdelpizzo_1

    mdelpizzo_1 My Dixie Wrecked Club Member

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    You totally blew it there. Please go back and re-watch Airheads.
     
  22. Tractor

    Tractor Club Member Club Member

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    6 home games limit. No more than 8 games in the state of Texas (including your home games)

    No Texas flags, no "Don't mess with Texas" bumper stickers.

    Only females are allowed to attend Texas games
    [​IMG]

    If Texas scores a touchdown, a gaggle of midgets have to ride Bevo around the field, smaking it's ass.

    Their fans aren't allowed to cross state lines.

    Texas AD/President must wear a dunce cap at all league meetings.

    An addendum to previous rule: Females allowed to attend games in Texas must be under age 35 and (preferably) older than 18 (16)
    [​IMG]
     
  23. Tatonka

    Tatonka Club Member Club Member

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    DeLoss Dodds and Chip Brown have to take turns tongue-punching Bevo in the fart-box before every game on the Godzillatron!
     
    buffedup, Clean Undies and Tractor like this.
  24. buff4bcs1985

    buff4bcs1985 Hail to the King

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    i get to kick every UT fan in the teeth
     
  25. The Guest

    The Guest Guest

    They must bring back the statues to the Coop, and unlock the thread on that topic at Shaggy.

    Thujone must declare allegiance to CU, and Allbuffs will maintain first right of refusal for all of his MS Paintings.

    Before attending a game, all Texas fans must acknowledge that Texas teams underperform and if it wasn't for Vince Young they would not have won the BCS championship in 2005. Additionally they must acknowledge that Texas is a pretty ****ing ugly state in terms of landscape.

    I think I could live with those terms.
     
  26. Tractor

    Tractor Club Member Club Member

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    F-ing this!!!
     
  27. CU827

    CU827 Well-Known Member

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    They made a book out of that?
     
    Heywood likes this.
  28. Buffnik

    Buffnik Real name isn't Nik Club Member Junta Member

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    I've never even heard of that movie. I guess I blew it.
     
  29. Buffnik

    Buffnik Real name isn't Nik Club Member Junta Member

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    So you just want to add the Godzillatron to the UT pre-game ritual?
     
  30. buffedup

    buffedup Cooler than a Popsicle Stand. Club Member

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    I was choking on my coffee at work laughing when I read this.
     

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