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EDSBS: Negative Recruiting Pitches

Darth Snow

Hawaiian Buffalo
Club Member
Junta Member
A few choice tidbits, but most are effing hilarious:

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday...um=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+edsbs/rss2+(EDSBS)

Mike Stoops will force you to masturbate in front of him at least once during your freshman year

Be careful. Auburn doesn't deduct payroll taxes from your salary.

Kansas. [nods]

Ralphie is actually a Newfoundland with a gland problem. Sorry.
:rofl:

The girls at Arizona State all have fantastic tits, but no nipples. Not a single one. It gets disconcerting really quickly.
You won't get laid at Tennessee without covering yourself in buck urine.
 
So great.
"Everyone at Ohio State loves Family Guy, and doesn't get the Simpsons. If this offends you and you run a 4.5, it's doubly clear you're a Michigan man. And if this offends you but you run a 5.5, you're Northwestern material."
"You want to go to UVA and live on the lawn? Well tough ****, that's whites-only housing, son."
"Coach Calipari may not have been forthright with you. You cannot leave after one year for the NFL, and he is not in fact the football coach."
 
I'll just say this if you go to Berkeley: four years is a long time to spend picking hippie crotchweave out of your teeth.
On the upside, you'll never have to floss. Hope you like girl's lacrosse players and poetry that doesn't rhyme.
 
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