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Follow TU football all season long

Discussion in 'Games' started by OKCBuff, Feb 15, 2014.

  1. OKCBuff

    OKCBuff Well-Known Member

    Sep 16, 2009
    Likes Received:
    In the interests of entertaining myself (mainly) and for those who like to peruse the online site board, I'm going to chronicle every painful step of TU football this season. So check it out if ya want. With all apologies to The Onion, here we go...

    [h=2]Brilliant offense, offensive defense[/h] TU lights up scoreboard on both sides of the tally in 45-37 defeat to Cal

    By Dan Hawkins

    TULSA - All around, this game was truly offensive for Tulsa.

    Offensively, the Golden Hurricane's game plan was simply golden. TU used electric performances from quarterback Joseph Calcagni and wide receiver Joshua Atkinson to put the Hurricane in position to beat Cal. The only problem was that the defense was also offensive. The end result was a teeth-gnashing 45-37 loss that showed the defense will keep this team from being a bowl team this season.

    "I'm sickened by the defensive performance in this game," said Tulsa head coach Rudy Carpenter. "The offense had an amazing game and really challenged Cal. The O put this team in position to win this game. But the defense played the 'ole!' game and stepped aside anytime a anyone came their way. It was absolutely pathetic. This defense couldn't stop a DVD movie."

    It's an unfortunate thing, as the end result spoiled a fantastic performance from Calcagni. The big arm went 30-of-46 for 646 yards and three touchdowns. He also threw three interceptions, but two of those were bobbled by the receiver creating a "jump ball" situation.

    In all, Tulsa posted 674 yards of total offense.

    "What happened today is truly unacceptable," Carpenter said. "We're trying to aim for a conference crown here and my defensive coordinator allows the opposition to score at will. That presses our offense to keep it going and they weren't able to perform on every drive. They'll call this a team loss, but I don't buy it. This is on my DC."

    "Wow, he really said that?" asked TU defensive coordinator Jorge Martinez. "That dude has a lot of room to talk. I know he was a quarterback at Arizona State and had some success there, but he really glosses over the INTs and the lack of running offense. To me, I think he overhypes the offense to help get the skill people attention. He's a self-serving ***** and part of me is beside myself in how this has unfolded."

    This was a rough loss for TU, as it dropped its home opener for the 17th time in 345 years, dating back to a loss to the Cherokee Indian Veterinary Academy in 1668.

    "We have a lot of tradition at TU," Carpenter said. "OK, well, not really. But when the colonies were still under British rule, we were out here throwing around some oblong ball not knowing what else to do with it aside from kicking it around. I've stressed to the kids the long tradition we have here. We'll see if they'll be able to carry that proud tradition next weekend."

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