How to Be an asshole CU fan: A primer, with ongoing tips and tricks.

[Hallett Hell]

Heck, I went from this

to this

overnight. If I could make it a meme that would be Jon Wilner's car with USC, UO and UW in the passenger seats

 

[Uncle Ken]

I've been making list.

I've always hated USC, so **** those guys forever. But Utah? They're starting to annoy me, they can lick my balls. Oregon? **** those guys - I'll gladly push them down the stairs at Folsom. Arizona Sate? **** you. You're on the list. Washington? **** you guys. I'll take your ****ing belly laughs in the control room and shove them up your ass. Swoosh this, mother****ers.

 

[Liver]

I've been making list.

I've always hated USC, so **** those guys forever. But Utah? They're starting to annoy me, they can lick my balls. Oregon? **** those guys - I'll gladly push them down the stairs at Folsom. Arizona Sate? **** you. You're on the list. Washington? **** you guys. I'll take your ****ing belly laughs in the control room and shove them up your ass. Swoosh this, mother****ers.

truth, brother --- preach.

i hate them all. embrace the hate and enjoy the ride.

 

[Uncle Ken]

truth, brother --- preach.

i hate them all. embrace the hate and enjoy the ride.

I FEEL SO ALIVE RIGHT NOW!

 

[Darth Snow]

Too soon.

 

[Uncle Ken]

Too soon.

My bad.

I'M READY TO FEEL SO ALIVE!

 

[Bread]

My personal confrontational style is unbridled arrogance and willfully dismissive ignorance.

Nothing gets under people’s skin like making it clear you know nothing about them and are uninterested in trying to learn.

Asking mildly mundane questions and sprinkling clarifying statements which illustrate their irrelevance will only make them try to get your attention and grow their resentment

“Oh you hired Mike Rhole? Didn’t he turn around Baylor State University while managing to not win against top 25 opponents? That’s cool!

Oh Baylor? Yeah that’s what I said. Anyways, have a fun trip back to Omaha!”

 

[LesGrossman]

“Oh you hired Mike Rhole? Didn’t he turn around Baylor State University while managing to not win against top 25 opponents? That’s cool!

Oh Baylor? Yeah that’s what I said. Anyways, have a fun trip back to Omaha!”

Nebraska huh? Nice… yeah I’ve been there once before I think. Kansas City was a nice place I guess. That’s the town in two states right?

 

[MtnBuff]

also, at road games for you single peeps.. sometimes there will be an attractive enemy fan that you will encounter in your wanderings of their generally forlorn community. carpe diem and help that fan see the light. bring them to the good side through the glory of your attention and prowess. he/she will thank you later and you will have the satisfaction that you helped an enemy COME to jesus.

Wise advice unless of course the opponent happens to be Nebraska or a quasi religious school based in Texas.

In that case you may be better off to pass as we don't need you bringing back to Boulder an excess of crabs and 3-4 of the newest strains of STD's for which antibiotic therapy has not yet been developed.

 

[Highlander]

also, at road games for you single peeps.. sometimes there will be an attractive enemy fan that you will encounter in your wanderings of their generally forlorn community. carpe diem and help that fan see the light. bring them to the good side through the glory of your attention and prowess. he/she will thank you later and you will have the satisfaction that you helped an enemy COME to jesus.

I did this with Neu’s 42-3 win in Madison in… 1996? Might have been 1995.

 

[Uncle Ken]

Nebraska huh? Nice… yeah I’ve been there once before I think. Kansas City was a nice place I guess. That’s the town in two states right?

Have you ever seen so many skinny people?

 

[Liver]

Wise advice unless of course the opponent happens to be Nebraska or a quasi religious school based in Texas.

In that case you may be better off to pass as we don't need you bringing back to Boulder an excess of crabs and 3-4 of the newest strains of STD's for which antibiotic therapy has not yet been developed.

dude. you are sheltered. those baptist chicks really know how to get their freak on when they think they won't get caught by their judgy-mcjudgment fellow baptists.

 

[MtnBuff]

dude. you are sheltered. those baptist chicks really know how to get their freak on when they think they won't get caught by their judgy-mcjudgment fellow baptists.

Hence my second sentence.