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AllBuffs | Unofficial fan site for the University of Colorado at Boulder Athletics programs

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  • Prime Time. Prime Time. Its a new era for Colorado football. Consider signing up for a club membership! For $20/year, you can get access to all the special features at Allbuffs, including club member only forums, dark mode, avatars and best of all no ads ! But seriously, please sign up so that we can pay the bills. No one earns money here, and we can use your $20 to keep this hellhole running. You can sign up for a club membership by navigating to your account in the upper right and clicking on "Account Upgrades". Make it happen!

If the Big 12 Had eHarmony Accounts

iowa state for example


Iowa State

ID: 76318490

Personality Type: None

I'm looking for: A conference that will respect me for what I bring to the table; three guaranteed victories for your team every year between Men's Basketball and Football. I'm also one of the last few schools that actually gives a damn about wrestling. Not the cool, "I'm going to pretend to hit you with a chair while in a steel cage of death," kind of wrestling, but more like, "Hey, I eat celery broth and look forward to grabbing your spandex covered balls," wrestling.

Hobbies & Interests: I enjoy reading the Twilight books, playing my XBOX 360, and masturbating to old episodes of The Carol Burnett Show while crying.

Why should you pick me?: I will literally suck your dick to stay out of the Missouri Valley.
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This fits like a mooseknuckle.

Why should you pick me?: Everyone needs a mullet sporting, Camaro driving, jean jacket wearing has-been that's still living the dream.
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Texas A&M

ID: 66432221

Personality Type: Mentally Challenged

I'm looking for: Hot Pockets

Hobbies & Interests: I have a probation officer. He told me to stop taking my pants off in front of Target.

Why should you pick me?: I have clean underwear on today.
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The whole aTM was funny as hell to me
 
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