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CU Buffs coach Dan Hawkins on pivotal season: 'Time to cinch it up'

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Colorado football coach Dan Hawkins is starting to sound like a man with the same sense of urgency about the results his team produces on the field as the fans and media who have been so critical of him.

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If there ever was a time when we needed a facepalm emoticon...this is it.


Cinch it up? DH is never at a loss for a meaningless cliche in the face of subpar performance.
 
I hope to God he doesn't run around the practice field yelling "cinch it up". Oh wait, he probably does cause that is how you coach players.
 
Is there really even a need to interview Dan Hawkins anymore? Just generate a random cliche for any of the quotes you attribute to him in a given article and no one will know the difference.
 
Nice! This phrase is going to turn the program around. We will be wearing t-shirts with this slogan for years. There will be a Tebow like mural with "Time to Cinch it up" written on it that the players will fist bump on their way to the field.
 
Maybe "Time to cinch it up" really means "Time to get my resume updated and by the way does anybody know a good real estate agent who can get my house on the market without making it known that I am looking for a way out.
 
:congrats:

I'm really glad to hear that we're going to cinch it up this year. That's obviously been the missing ingredient all along. Thank God we finally have that figured out. Happy days are here again.
 
sackman said:
:congrats:

I'm really glad to hear that we're going to cinch it up this year. That's obviously been the missing ingredient all along. Thank God we finally have that figured out. Happy days are here again.
Click to expand...

Sarcasm:fragez: :rofl2:
 
If coach Brown had remembered to tell the team to cinch it up, he might still be here today. I can't believe he'd forget something as obvious as that. I mean, honestly, how could we have gone four whole years without cinching it up? Somebody needs to be held accountable.
 
I'm not as sophisticated as some of the rest of you, how do I spot a recruit who can really cinch it up, do they practice cinching it up, spend film study time on it? Are there certain lifts in the off-season program that make a player better at cinching it up? Maybe we should get an assistant coach who is the cinch it up coach, at least a GA to keep track of it.

Sacky, what kind of stats can we look at to tell if one player is better than another at cinching it up? You could help by creating a spreadsheet for Coach Hawk that lets him see how each walk-on is progressing.
 
I'm wondering if it's not a process that one needs to go through. Like, the first thing they need to do is get their horns out. From there, they bring their lunchpail. Hitting the concrete comes next, followed by getting it to pop. Eliminating the gashers is a complicated process, but from all accounts they've got that down, so they are able to graduate to cinching it up. You can't work on all these things at the same time, obviously. Everybody knows that.
 
sackman said:
I'm wondering if it's not a process that one needs to go through. Like, the first thing they need to do is get their horns out. From there, they bring their lunchpail. Hitting the concrete comes next, followed by getting it to pop. Eliminating the gashers is a complicated process, but from all accounts they've got that down, so they are able to graduate to cinching it up. You can't work on all these things at the same time, obviously. Everybody knows that.
Click to expand...

This is some serious sabermetrics. Check the women's apparel thread for Hawk's new catch phrase clothing line ( I can't insert pics in this thread )
 
Hawkins wasn't comfortable identifying a specific number of wins his team must produce this year, but he left no doubt he has a deep desire to prove he can turn the program around and reward those supporters who have stuck by him
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...and any fan who has ever questioned or doubted Dan Hawkins is politely invited to **** themselves with a juice box and a lunch pail. They aren't coaches. They have never taken any risks. They are untrustworthy internet scum. Real Buff fans don't give up on Dan Hawkins.

So there.
 
You know what really pisses me off? Hawkins talking about always wanting to get better whether "we were 13-0 or whatever."

Ok, Dan. When was the last time your team went 13-0? You were 3-9 last year, pardner. This isn't a competitive team getting better, taking that next step up in life, setting its goals based on its own agenda.

THIS A F-ing TEAM THAT GOT PANTSED BY CSU AND MOTHER-F-ing TOLEDO, FER CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!!!!!!!
 
MtnBuff said:
I'm not as sophisticated as some of the rest of you, how do I spot a recruit who can really cinch it up, do they practice cinching it up, spend film study time on it? Are there certain lifts in the off-season program that make a player better at cinching it up? Maybe we should get an assistant coach who is the cinch it up coach, at least a GA to keep track of it.

Sacky, what kind of stats can we look at to tell if one player is better than another at cinching it up? You could help by creating a spreadsheet for Coach Hawk that lets him see how each walk-on is progressing.
Click to expand...

I found some recruits for Hack who are good at cinching it up. Is this what he's looking for? :rolling_eyes:
gferrefw2010cinch.png
 
rodrigo said:
You know what really pisses me off? Hawkins talking about always wanting to get better whether "we were 13-0 or whatever."

Ok, Dan. When was the last time your team went 13-0? You were 3-9 last year, pardner. This isn't a competitive team getting better, taking that next step up in life, setting its goals based on its own agenda.

THIS A F-ing TEAM THAT GOT PANTSED BY CSU AND MOTHER-F-ing TOLEDO, FER CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...

The machine won't let me rep you again, but I say you hit nail on the head...13-0, the man is delusional...:rolling_eyes:
 
Wasn't there a Saturday Night Live skit with Gap employees selling oversized jeans and telling the customers to "cinch it up"? Rep to the first Allbuffer who finds it.
 
Dan Hawkins has become a caracature of a football coach. He'd make a great SNL skit.

Scene: News conference after a loss to some backwater nobody team like Toledo or Montana State:

Reporter: "Coach, what can you say about today's game?"

Hawk: "Well, we didn't get our horns out enough, and the other team really brought their lunchpails"

Reporter: "Is there anything in particular that you can point to that caused you problems today?"

Hawk: "Well, here's the deal, this isn't my first rodeo"

Reporter: "Coach, what kinds of things will you be working on this week in preparation for your next opponent?"

Hawk: "Mostly the little things."

Reporter: "Coach, are you feeling pressure to win more games?"

Hawk: "Not at all. It's all about doing the little things, getting up in the morning and being a quality person. That's what's important. Folks who never take any risks in their lives don't understand that."

Reporter: "Coach, your team was penalized 6 times for false starts, 5 offensive holding penalties, was held to 20 net yards rushing, and missed three field goals. How do you go about correcting these issues?"

Hawk: "Those aren't little things. I don't worry about stuff like that. I know this deal is ready to pop. All we need to do is cinch it up and we'll be right there."
 
He reminds me of the old skit where one guys says to another, "We're all dead" and then the other guy says, "So you're saying we have a chance!"
 
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