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Serious Problem Re: Talking **** to Cal this Fall

Darth Snow

Hawaiian Buffalo
Club Member
Junta Member
Just to be clear, by Cal, I do mean University of California, Berkeley.

Me and a friend were discussing this issue. And we are worried. Really worried. Cause what kind of **** can you talk to Cal? Hell, most people view them as just like us (****ing hippies!! Protests!!!) but with better academics. I mean, we have mountains, but they are in California next to SF, one of the sweetest cities in the country. Not to mention Berkeley is a bad ass town. Given that they are better at football than us right now.... WTF can I say? Point to a national championship 20 years ago? I need better smack than that. We, as buffaloes, need better smack than that.

We've feasted on the easy pickings of the Big 12 too long. Kansas State? That ****ing JuCo college that a half brained monkey could graduate with honors from? Iowa State? The Forgotten afterbirth afterthought of the penultimate flyover state? Aggies? Don't even need to say anything. OU? Thieving and cheating simpletons who live in the worst state in the country. Especially UBT. And of course, kNU. A mediocre at best school whose primary and only goal in life is to not suck at football while producing the fattest and ugliest women on the planet in a place so boring they have to celebrate SHUCKING CORN because there is literally nothing else out there except pounding the dirt. Which lots of them do too, cause that is the #2 most interesting thing in cornland. And there is more, for every other team.

Anyways, see where I am going? I don't have smack talk for this new conference. The Cal trip is really bringing this weakness home. We have been going up against small fry, and now we are playing with the big boys. Let's get this arsenal going. Except for Utah, they've already given us enough ammo. For now, what the **** do we say to Cal?
 
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You could just stay there after the game. Seems you like CA and Berkeley better than CO and Boulder.
 
The difference is that I prefer CO to Texas. You make CA sound like the greatest place on earth.

Well then talk some **** about it man. That is the point of this thread. I will start.

California was a beautiful place until 55 million people moved their and totally ****ed it all up. Their governor is a total ****ing moron who was only elected because he made a movie about an apocalyptic future. Half the boobs you touch in Socal aren't even real, and the plastic surgeons out there make so you don't even know if half the women are women or just ex men.
 
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Boulder has more acupuncturists per capita than any other US city, in fact more than any place outside of China.

Take THAT, CAL.
 
California was a beautiful place until 55 million people moved their and totally ****ed it all up. Their governor is a total ****ing moron who was only elected because he made a movie about an apocalyptic future. Half the boobs you touch in Socal aren't even real, and the plastic surgeons out there make so you don't even know if half the women are women or just ex men.

Now you're getting it.
 
I have plenty. I just don't really care since I'm not going to the Cal game and I don't personally know any Cal fans.
 
Take all the stuff that was thrown at us, multiply it by 10x, and throw it at the Cal folks. You think WE spoke pot? Hell, we learned it all from you. You bring pot smoking to a whole new level. Hey, is that your girlfriend or a silverback gorrilla? What's that smell? Patchuli? Gross!!! I'm thinking about setting up a soap concession here on campus. Problem is that none of these filthy hippies have ever seen a bar of soap. They'd probably eat it or try to smoke it.
 
Take all the stuff that was thrown at us, multiply it by 10x, and throw it at the Cal folks. You think WE spoke pot? Hell, we learned it all from you. You bring pot smoking to a whole new level. Hey, is that your girlfriend or a silverback gorrilla? What's that smell? Patchuli? Gross!!! I'm thinking about setting up a soap concession here on campus. Problem is that none of these filthy hippies have ever seen a bar of soap. They'd probably eat it or try to smoke it.
bah. That **** seems weak to me. Especially since it has been thrown at us for years.
 
I have plenty. I just don't really care since I'm not going to the Cal game and I don't personally know any Cal fans.

I call bull****. You don't care? We could be playing these ****s every year. You got nothing.
 
I'll eventually care, but it takes time to learn to hate someone (it also takes time to find their soft spots). Other than you. I pretty much hated you from word 1. :lol:
 
The thing is that the Cal hippie stuff is overblown. Anyone that has ever actually been to Berkeley in the last 15 years or so knows that it is full of gutterpunks and yuppies, not hippies.
 
The thing is that the Cal hippie stuff is overblown. Anyone that has ever actually been to Berkeley in the last 15 years or so knows that it is full of gutterpunks and yuppies, not hippies.

The Boulder hippie stuff is overblown, too. Stereotypes are fun!
 
So far, I see this as a more typical exchange between CU and Cal fans...

CU fan..."We are gonna beat your asses you dirty hippies!"
Cal fan "We are gonna beat your asses you dirty hippies!"...

Both: ****.

Whichever team is the home fan: "**** this **** man, let's go smoke a bowl"
 
Cal has a huge inferiority complex when it comes to Stanfrod. Feed off that and you'll easily make them apopoleptic by the end of the conversation. Until CU starts beating them on a regular basis, , that's the best strategy is to just make them crazy.
 
Cal has a huge inferiority complex when it comes to Stanfrod. Feed off that and you'll easily make them apopoleptic by the end of the conversation. Until CU starts beating them on a regular basis, , that's the best strategy is to just make them crazy.

Yeah, but we have that same inferiority complex.
 
Yeah, but we have that same inferiority complex.

No we don't. I think pretty much everyone here would concede that Stanford is a better school than CU. At Cal, they go on and on about how you can't flunk out of Stanford and stuff.
 
Yeah, but we have that same inferiority complex.

no...not the same at all. Everyone knows CU (and all CU fans accept) that CU's academics aren't on the same level as either Stanford or Cal. The debate would end quickly. Cal on the other hand CAN'T accept that they aren't as highly rated as Stanford and Stanford rubs it in their faces every chance they get. Trust me, it drives Cal students and alums bonkers. Once you get them going on that, they will forget all about any comparisons with CU (football or otherwise) and their heads will likely explode. Its all about misdirection.
 
no...not the same at all. Everyone knows CU (and all CU fans accept) that CU's academics aren't on the same level as either Stanford or Cal. The debate would end quickly. Cal on the other hand CAN'T accept that they aren't as highly rated as Stanford and Stanford rubs it in their faces every chance they get. Trust me, it drives Cal students and alums bonkers. Once you get them going on that, they will forget all about any comparisons with CU (football or otherwise) and their heads will likely explode. Its all about misdirection.

i like the cut of your jib
 
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