Week 8 is upon us and the glorious Colorado Buffaloes (5-2, 3-1, #26 AP) are back in action after exorcising their Arizona State demons with extreme prejudice. Final score was 40-16 and anyone who watched it knows that score is deceptive... it wasn't nearly that close. **** ASU!
This week the really ****ty preview turns its attention to Stanford (4-2, 2-1, #32 AP) as the Buffs travel to Palo Alto. Kickoff at 1:00 MT on Pac-12 Network. Weather forecast is high 60s, mostly cloudy, with 100% chance of pain.
The important thing to know about the Buffs is that this is a team without a weakness. One of the most complete teams in the nation. On defense, a trio of starting DLs that command double teams, a linebacking corp that is disruptive, and a secondary that features 3 lockdown corners. Oh, and the Buffs also have the top pass rusher in the conference.
On offense, an OL that just dominated ASU's overhyped front 7, a RB who is putting up Heisman consideration numbers, the best receiving corp in the Pac-12, a backup QB who has won Pac-12 offensive player of the week, and a starting QB who would be in the Heisman race if he hadn't missed 3+ games to injury. It's almost not fair.
What do we know about Stanford?
No offense outside of a RB who seems to be suffering from "declining draft stock-itis" and may not play. On defense, scaring no one. Pretty strong in the trenches, but not what they have been in recent years. I'd almost feel bad for them if I thought anyone who went to Stanford noticed or cared about football.
Stanford sucks and we will crush them.
Why? Apathy.
I was able to talk to some Stanford folks this week about the game. After explaining that I meant sports and that the topic wasn't soccer, volleyball or field hockey, one of them finally brought up his calendar app and confirmed that he had a networking function in the Arboretum Grove. He got very excited once he traded a couple texts and confirmed that there would be a nice charcuterie board and a young but bouncy beaujolais.
"Okay," I thought, "that's just one example. The ****ty preview is nothing if not fair and balanced. I need to find some people who better represent Stanford's passion."
I thought I was onto something when I found a football fan club. But apparently they celebrate a different kind of ****. Meet The Poop Group
After much research, I finally found it in "Cowbell Guy". Back when they had a decent basketball team a few years ago, the Stanford band showed us how nerds party.
Whenever the Buffs play Stanford, I feel like I'm watching a new installment of "Revenge of the Nerds". Only in real life Ogre and Stan Gable don't lose to Lewis, Gilbert and the gang.
Party with Trees?
No thanks.
And there's also a dark side to things when Stanford gets passionate about sports. No, they'd never soil themselves by running an outlaw football program. But, dammit, they want to win that Athletic Director's Cup and nothing will stop them there. When it comes to Olympic sports, they're the Baylor of the NCAA, bringing in sexual predators in their quest to win a swimming title.
Weird place. Nickname? A color. Mascot? A tree. It's really a shame, because for most of its history Stanford set the bar for political incorrectness as the Indians with branding that caused even Cleveland baseball fans to raise an eyebrow. Though they still celebrate this proud history away from the public's eye.
What about hotties? I mean, they're in California. Plus, lots of the students have daddies with money who married trophy wives. You'd think daddy's hard body wife would pass down her genes and deliver a smokin' student body? Well, not really. Search engine results were depressing. Lots of images that showed promise only for me to find that they were fans or students of other colleges that also wear dark red for school colors. Clearly what we have here is that when it comes to Stanford students, "Trophy Wife" is the step mom who became part of the family after dad's tech IPO hit big. Didn't even need a nap.
But the ****ty preview will not be denied! Not only did I find some quality, but I realized something very important that should serve our roadtrippers well...
Stanford's sluts identify themselves by painting a treasure trail on their lower abdomens. It's a well-read fan base and can go kind of high brow, so it took a while before it clicked for me. The color. The belly paint. This is their version of "The Scarlet Letter", but in an updated modern PC way of taking it back and celebrating their witchy ways.
So, what does this all mean today?
Will CU take control of the Pac-12 South and move into its rightful place in the Top 25?
What does a buffalo do when it sees a tree on its field?
It gores it and then ****s on it to mark his territory.
Buffs 44
Indians 13
GO BUFFS!!!
This week the really ****ty preview turns its attention to Stanford (4-2, 2-1, #32 AP) as the Buffs travel to Palo Alto. Kickoff at 1:00 MT on Pac-12 Network. Weather forecast is high 60s, mostly cloudy, with 100% chance of pain.
The important thing to know about the Buffs is that this is a team without a weakness. One of the most complete teams in the nation. On defense, a trio of starting DLs that command double teams, a linebacking corp that is disruptive, and a secondary that features 3 lockdown corners. Oh, and the Buffs also have the top pass rusher in the conference.
On offense, an OL that just dominated ASU's overhyped front 7, a RB who is putting up Heisman consideration numbers, the best receiving corp in the Pac-12, a backup QB who has won Pac-12 offensive player of the week, and a starting QB who would be in the Heisman race if he hadn't missed 3+ games to injury. It's almost not fair.
What do we know about Stanford?
No offense outside of a RB who seems to be suffering from "declining draft stock-itis" and may not play. On defense, scaring no one. Pretty strong in the trenches, but not what they have been in recent years. I'd almost feel bad for them if I thought anyone who went to Stanford noticed or cared about football.
Stanford sucks and we will crush them.
Why? Apathy.
I was able to talk to some Stanford folks this week about the game. After explaining that I meant sports and that the topic wasn't soccer, volleyball or field hockey, one of them finally brought up his calendar app and confirmed that he had a networking function in the Arboretum Grove. He got very excited once he traded a couple texts and confirmed that there would be a nice charcuterie board and a young but bouncy beaujolais.
"Okay," I thought, "that's just one example. The ****ty preview is nothing if not fair and balanced. I need to find some people who better represent Stanford's passion."
I thought I was onto something when I found a football fan club. But apparently they celebrate a different kind of ****. Meet The Poop Group
After much research, I finally found it in "Cowbell Guy". Back when they had a decent basketball team a few years ago, the Stanford band showed us how nerds party.
Whenever the Buffs play Stanford, I feel like I'm watching a new installment of "Revenge of the Nerds". Only in real life Ogre and Stan Gable don't lose to Lewis, Gilbert and the gang.
Party with Trees?
No thanks.
And there's also a dark side to things when Stanford gets passionate about sports. No, they'd never soil themselves by running an outlaw football program. But, dammit, they want to win that Athletic Director's Cup and nothing will stop them there. When it comes to Olympic sports, they're the Baylor of the NCAA, bringing in sexual predators in their quest to win a swimming title.
Weird place. Nickname? A color. Mascot? A tree. It's really a shame, because for most of its history Stanford set the bar for political incorrectness as the Indians with branding that caused even Cleveland baseball fans to raise an eyebrow. Though they still celebrate this proud history away from the public's eye.
What about hotties? I mean, they're in California. Plus, lots of the students have daddies with money who married trophy wives. You'd think daddy's hard body wife would pass down her genes and deliver a smokin' student body? Well, not really. Search engine results were depressing. Lots of images that showed promise only for me to find that they were fans or students of other colleges that also wear dark red for school colors. Clearly what we have here is that when it comes to Stanford students, "Trophy Wife" is the step mom who became part of the family after dad's tech IPO hit big. Didn't even need a nap.
But the ****ty preview will not be denied! Not only did I find some quality, but I realized something very important that should serve our roadtrippers well...
Stanford's sluts identify themselves by painting a treasure trail on their lower abdomens. It's a well-read fan base and can go kind of high brow, so it took a while before it clicked for me. The color. The belly paint. This is their version of "The Scarlet Letter", but in an updated modern PC way of taking it back and celebrating their witchy ways.
So, what does this all mean today?
Will CU take control of the Pac-12 South and move into its rightful place in the Top 25?
What does a buffalo do when it sees a tree on its field?
It gores it and then ****s on it to mark his territory.
Buffs 44
Indians 13
GO BUFFS!!!
