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A really ****ty review of the 2016 Football Kickoff Luncheon

Discussion in 'Colorado Football Message Board' started by Buffnik, Aug 19, 2016.

  1. Buffnik

    Buffnik Real name isn't Nik Club Member Junta Member

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    I don't know if the Really ****ty Previews make a return this season. Because, honestly, I don't know if I'm smart enough to figure out new and creative ways to tell you what you already know -- every team we will play sucks and we will crush them. And in particular, how many times can I write about little brother's inferiority complex and sheep ****ing addiction? But as some asshole once said, "We'll see".

    I did feel like doing something that wasn't completely boring for the kickoff luncheon. Because I'm fired up and this year was different. Yeah, it's mostly a rah-rah bull****, let's pat each other on the back, kiss some asses, and figure out how many ways we can talk about GPA, graduation rates and community service by student athletes type of event. But there were also some cool moments and a theme this year.

    Hold onto your crack pipes and brace yourselves: the theme was winning.

    I had a good feeling before I entered the door. Found Junction's brick despite the rude interruption by a work call while I was trying to do something important. Buff Walk is gonna be a cool new area and tradition and Junc is just before the park bench in the first group of bricks (along the right side).
    Buff Walk.jpg Junc Brick.jpg

    We miss you, Junc. We'll celebrate you at the first home game.
    [​IMG]
    So, on to the festivities. Saw Ralphie. She had a look in her eye like she's ready to kick some ass and snorted when I yelled "Where's Cam?" so that's a good sign for the opener.
    Ralphie.jpg
    Then I went in. They served things up Chipotle style with corn or flour tortillas, chicken or veggies, pinto beans (WTF on not having black beans!?!), rice and then a toppings area. Cookies & rice kripie treats. Choice of soda or water (WTF on not having booze!?!), so I did the Dew and got reminded why I haven't drank that redneck go-juice in years. Still, better spread than in years past with pre-wrapped sammiches. Things were looking better and better.

    Band played. Chip did his thing. Players came in. Everybody got a bit of a chub.

    Nice moment during the program where Bill McCartney stood up and got a big round of applause.

    Johnson emceed with Barnett, who is doing the KOA broadcasts this year.

    Went through those early speeches from the Boulder Chamber and Phil (yay GPA!).

    Outgoing Regent Steve Bosley was allsome and hilarious. His best moment was at the end, though. This is when the collective chubs really started to grow. He started talking about MacIntyre being a great guy who is in coaching to mold great men, husbands and fathers...
    [​IMG]
    ... and he knows that if he wants to do that then he needs to win. Booya! Bosley pretty much dropped the mic on that and left the stage.

    Then we had Rick George introduce some coaches and talk about overall AD success, 2 straight years of balanced budget, record fundraising in the last year, etc. With 2 statements that pretty much brought on the full chub:

    1. Facilities are as good as anyone's in the nation. Just got back from visiting ****! Baylor [emphasis added] and ours are at a higher level. Which just goes to prove, when you hire a design team you get what you pay for.
    [​IMG]

    2. Our Cross Country teams came back from the NCAA championships with two second place finishes. And they were upset. [paraphrasing RG] -- "This is where all CU programs need to be." Chub intact.

    Then we had MacIntyre take the stage. Led off with how this year's team had dudes and the biggest reason for him being confident is what he sees in the trenches. He raved about his DL and OL with a statement about it all starting up front, then talked a bit about the playmakers around them. (WTF?!?! He's either crazy, blowing smoke or we're in for a helluva ride.) Talked about Barnett pulling him aside during a practice and saying that he noticed that the guys are motivating themselves and that the coaches don't have to do it any more. Talked about the "fight" and seemed to catch his stride, getting fired up.

    Next, he looked at his watch and made the statement that had everyone in the room wide eyed in shocked full chubness: "14 days from now we'll be eating our pregame meal and getting ready to kick some ass from up north!". Did you guys know that MacIntyre knew how to swear? I didn't. And him shouting "ass" to the room is as disconcerting as if I stubbed my toe and let loose with "Golly gee willikers!". Is this someone who is now confident enough in the team he has to be a little brash?

    HCMM then finished up by saying to get your tickets while you can because this team is going to fill Folsom. Mic drop. Chubs reaching uncomfortable levels.

    Then Johnson finished it off by saying that in 30 years of covering college football, everyone asks him every year what he thinks of the team. He said that the response is always what the team could do, but that it's usually what he hopes will happen. This year, the best way he said he can describe it is that it's not about what you think. It's about what you feel and this feels different. This team is going to win.

    I left the room fired up and thinking about the beatdown the Buffs are going to put on the Rams in two weeks, adjusted what was in my pockets...
    [​IMG]
    ... and headed home to pound this out before I take a nap.

    Go Buffs!
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2016
  2. buff4bcs1985

    buff4bcs1985 Hail to the King

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    **** YEAH!!!
     
  3. SerenityBuff

    SerenityBuff Club Member Club Member

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    Give me all the Kool Aid!

    [​IMG]
     
  4. sackman

    sackman Club Member Club Member

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    Is this like the time when GB said - at that same luncheon - that we were going to unleash Hell on the goats?
     
  5. Burrito Palazzo

    Burrito Palazzo huff my smug Club Member

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    Your best work!
     
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  6. TSchekler

    TSchekler Darth's Hero Club Member

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    Chubtastic
     
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  7. Highlander

    Highlander Club Member Club Member

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    Concise and accurate summary. I agree MM was bullish (Nik calls it brash - I can go with that). I liked the fact he was very specific about how this year will be different, claiming this is the first year we have the right "dudes" in the trenches on both sides of the ball, while going with the old axiom "it all starts up front".
     
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  8. Darian3Hagan

    Darian3Hagan '89 Player of the Year Club Member

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    More like this.


     
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  9. Shldr2Shldr

    Shldr2Shldr Club Member Club Member

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  10. TimmyDUBs

    TimmyDUBs Dirty haole Club Member

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    [​IMG]
    Classic.

    Screw you, Nik, and your kool-aid bukake!!
     
  11. TimmyDUBs

    TimmyDUBs Dirty haole Club Member

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    I was there! (y)
     
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  12. Bliff Cranch

    Bliff Cranch Club Member Club Member

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    What are we supposed to do when a chub lasts more than four hours?
     
  13. BuffLuKe

    BuffLuKe Well-Known Member

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    Try harder lol.
     
  14. J.R. Ewing

    J.R. Ewing Club Member Club Member

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    Watch the Hawaii footage.
     
  15. SpacemanSpiff

    SpacemanSpiff Club Member Club Member

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    Appreciate it, Nik! We're gonna win!
     
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  16. TSchekler

    TSchekler Darth's Hero Club Member

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  17. BuffaloSoldier76

    BuffaloSoldier76 Unsound Meat Club Member

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    When in doubt, rub one out?
     
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  18. SerenityBuff

    SerenityBuff Club Member Club Member

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  19. Darian3Hagan

    Darian3Hagan '89 Player of the Year Club Member

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  20. chitownbuff

    chitownbuff Club Member Club Member

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    Chubawumba!
     
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  21. TDforTD

    TDforTD Banned BANNED Club Member

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    I can't be the only one disappointed to hear about the lack of black beans (wtf?).
     
  22. BarackObama

    BarackObama Active Member

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    Love Barnett's quote. Remember he was always harping on leadership. One of his main things was, "without strong player leadership you can't have a tong team". Seems like we have that this year for the first time in a while.
     
  23. BuffaloSoldier76

    BuffaloSoldier76 Unsound Meat Club Member

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    The Buffs are coming! Mark Johnson told me so!

    [​IMG]
     
  24. Buffnik

    Buffnik Real name isn't Nik Club Member Junta Member

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    Getting a little dusty in here.
     
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  25. BehindEnemyLines

    BehindEnemyLines beware the habu Club Member

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    The commercial for that "medicine" says you should call a doctor.

    Me? I'm callin' the National Inquirer.
     
  26. sackman

    sackman Club Member Club Member

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    If this team comes out and s.hits the bed against CSU, I'm going to send Mark Johnson that clip and see what he has to say. I'm pretty much done believing the hype. Just go win some damn football games.
     
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  27. onealcd

    onealcd Club Member Club Member

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    I feel like mac said kick ass ten time before the scrimmage on Saturday. I was shocked.
     
  28. InTheBuff

    InTheBuff Club Member Club Member

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  29. buffaholic

    buffaholic Club Member Club Member

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    @Buffnik - did you get a chance to tell anyone how fired up the fans would get if we actually had reporting on camp?
     
  30. buffaholic

    buffaholic Club Member Club Member

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    You really should NOT impose new expectations on yourself like this...

    Kudos though for pic of Joanna Gaines!
     

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