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H1NU Virus - Pandemic

Discussion in 'Colorado Football Message Board' started by Skidmark, May 4, 2009.

  1. Skidmark

    Skidmark Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    On an other thread, there have been reports of fusker fans participating on the message boards of different B12 schools. Reports are coming in from SEC and Pac-10 conferences of a similar red infestation.

    The centers for disease control are closely monitoring the spread of this disease.

    Allbuffs has been hit with several relatively benign strains of the H1NU virus, eminating from policemen (Big Red Cop/BRI) and former military fuskers.

    Symptoms include a desire to get along with the host during the spring and summer seasons. The primary concern is that H1NU will mutate into a more smug and self-righteous strain starting in August and intensifying through Thanksgiving.

    The threat of a potentially leathal infection remains remote due to strong defenses that have been built up among BCS programs. H1NU is currently inconvenient and annoying, but poses no serious threat to B12, B12N and bowl ambitions. Ranked schools appear immune to "cornholio flu."

    Please stay away from large concrete stadiums that are surrounded by grain silos and wash your hands and eyeballs after coming into contact with any red seepage originating from the aNUs area.

    This concludes this public service announcement.
     
    Last edited: May 5, 2009
  2. buff4bcs1985

    buff4bcs1985 Hail to the King Club Member

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    win




    that is all
     
  3. 96 Buff

    96 Buff Resident Commie Bastard Club Member Junta Member

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    **** ****braska.
     
  4. buffedup

    buffedup Cooler than a Popsicle Stand. Club Member

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    Man, and we already have to deal with the more virulent strain H1CFN or more commonly known as Coloradoans for Nebraska. This strain is actually classifed as a plague that affects the entire state of Colorado.

    The symptoms of every case include: an extremely unhealthy shade of red, fleeing of the previous host, a rotting carcass known as the state of Nebraska to invade a pristine and healthy host known as the state of Colorado, and an unusual affinity with sheep.

    Most common mode of transmission is known as I-80/I-76. Please be advised that while seemingly benign when moving in next door, with only minor symptoms such as cars on blocks in the front yard surrounded by empty beer cans on the ground and scouting road kill for food, the plague always has a severe outbreak in the autumn which is similar to the H1NU virus, the main difference being the infection is local.

    Major strides have been made in periodic plague suppression this decade alone. The most successful formula is known as Scoring in the 60s. In fact this formula has been copied and used recently by other states dealing with similar plague outbreaks.

    Three Nobel prize winning scientists at the University of Colorado are currently making progress towards a cure for this plague.
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2009
    buff4bcs1985 likes this.
  5. buffwings

    buffwings Club Member Club Member

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    Hilarious, REP! :thumbsup:
     
  6. BIGREDIOWAN

    BIGREDIOWAN Well-Known Member

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    Go **** yourself! :lol:
     
  7. Skidmark

    Skidmark Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    You can't be too careful where you put your rascal these days.

    I don't care how pretty your mouth is. I wouldn't get within 10 feet of you purely as a matter of public health.

    In fact, your wife could't beg me to tap her ass in a hot tub constructed out of echinacea, vitamin C, laytex and Valtrex, not even if she filled it with all the rubbing alchohol in Russia. :lol::smile2:
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2009
  8. BIGREDIOWAN

    BIGREDIOWAN Well-Known Member

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    Cute........:lol:
     
  9. buff4bcs1985

    buff4bcs1985 Hail to the King Club Member

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    this thread wins!!!
     
  10. BuffSurveyor

    BuffSurveyor Club Member Club Member

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    Hey, I can see the concern around here for the "H1NU" virus, especially for CU fans with weak immune systems. That virus could be a nuisance! Not to worry, there is a simple cure, just submit and wear more red. However the real problem for all "real" CU fans is surely the "H1CFN" virus or more commonly known as "Coloradoans for Nebraska" virus. This virus once infected can rarely be cured, meaning simply wearing red won't abate or kill the virus. The only known cure appears to be drinking large amounts of alcohol to the point of blackout, however this treatment should only be done under proper adult medical supervision. A note of caution: Be careful with the prescribed treatment for the "H1CFN" virus as there is considerable risk of death or perhaps worse, you may wake up a bona-fide member of "Coloradans for Nebraska", drink "Koolaid" and become a Nebraska fan for the rest of your life.

    Oh well things could be worse, but I can't think of how at the moment.

    :smile2:

    The off season is really getting to be a long one! :sad1:
     
  11. Skidmark

    Skidmark Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    Better dead than red.

    Here I see a petri dish of nostalga masquerading as relevency, cloaked in mediocrity. It's sufficiently weak enough to be an anti-virus at best.
     
  12. Highflyer

    Highflyer Moderator Club Member Junta Member

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    If allbuffs had a ring/hall of fame, the first post by Skidmark is a first ballot shoe in.
     
  13. Skidmark

    Skidmark Flagship of the 12-Pac Club Member

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    Thanks, man. I appriciate the recognition and the reps.

    I credit VailBuff for the H1NU name (check's in the mail), Mexican animal husbandry and the Ft. Worth school district for the idea, and the entire fusker nation for the motivation. Keep it classy, kNU!
     
  14. buff4bcs1985

    buff4bcs1985 Hail to the King Club Member

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    lets get a post hall of fame going a single thread say like this one or my drunken rant (i never said i wasn't a shameless self promoter)
     
  15. Highflyer

    Highflyer Moderator Club Member Junta Member

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    I think the point of a hall of fame is to set the bar high.....:huh::smile2:
     
  16. 87toInfinity

    87toInfinity Well-Known Member

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    FIFY.

    Don't stop using your copyright!
     
  17. buff4bcs1985

    buff4bcs1985 Hail to the King Club Member

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    lol come on it was epic and you know it haha

    better 87
     
  18. Highflyer

    Highflyer Moderator Club Member Junta Member

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    But you see I assume you post drunk all the time so it's hard for me to decipher when "my drunk rant" might have been.
     

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