A Nebraska farmer dies and, being a heathen, goes to Hell. When he gets there its 95 F with 90% humidity, but Satan notices he's kicked back on the brimstone relaxing comfortably. He asks, 'Why aren't you miserable like everyone else here?' The farmer replies, 'Oh, this is like a warm spring day in central Nebraska . I like it.' Angry, Satan turns up the thermostat until its 100 F and 95% humidity. Still, the farmer's happy. 'This is like a good June day on the farm. Not bad at all.' Furious, Satan turns it up to 105 F and 99% humidity. Everyone is even more miserable, except the farmer still resting. 'Hey, this is like a good August day on the farm bailing hay. Feels good, the hotter the better.' In a total rage, Satan turns the thermostat down to minus 25 F. Within seconds, the air becomes chilly and frost appears, soon followed by solid ice everywhere. Satan smirks, watching the farmer. The confused farmer looks down at the frozen ground for a moment, suddenly jumps up excitedly, looks around everywhere and begins to laugh, scream, and jump for joy. 'BILL CALLAHAN WON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!' 'BILL CALLAHAN WON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!' 'BILL CALLAHAN WON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!'