Dear Big 12, baby, baby, please...

[Liver]

How did things ever get so screwed up between us, baby? I am so sorry for the things I said and did. When I ran off with that California girl, I said some terrible things. Your mom isn't really toothless and your first cousins didn't actually marry each other. And, I know was unkind about your hometown and the smell of cow **** wafting through the air. But, I miss it, baby. I really do.

And I miss you. Your lack of education doesn't bother me-- you have a good heart. And, sure, that crazy baptist uncle of yours gets a little out of hand, but I promise to bite my tongue. We can all be a family again. Those few extra pounds you have put on really suit you baby. Those ultra fit gals out west are so fake!

Just take me back, baby, please. You know I really love you. I can't wait to spend my time with you out on the frozen flatlands. The mountains are so boring and the West Coast is so mean and unwelcoming. I just want to come home, baby. Take me to Stillwater and Lubbock and Waco and Little Manhattan. And, I can't wait to meet your new family members in Morgantown and elsewhere.

We can work this out, honey. I know we can. Just give me another chance. Please, baby, baby please.

 

[Highlander]

Proper punctuation and all. I’m impressed!

 

[Alfred91]

Don't forget about the new step-cousins in Provo, Orlando, and southern Ohio.

Oh baby.

 

[PAC MAN]

Tree/windmill counting on trips will be fun again!

 

[Liver]

 

[SeanMSan]

Now, while this was being dictated, was there prepping of nail-filled marshmallows, spent batteries being gathered from devices, and ziplock bombs?

The boys are back in town…possibly…

 

[SpacemanSpiff]

Proper punctuation and all. I’m impressed!

We’re the educational flagship of the new Big 12. It’s appropriate to represent with proper punctuation.

 

[LesGrossman]

Dear Big 12

We’re back, f*** you.

Les

 

[Liver]

Now, while this was being dictated, was there prepping of nail-filled marshmallows, spent batteries being gathered from devices, and ziplock bombs?

The boys are back in town…possibly…

i have buried 4 gallons of asparagus and beer piss in the desert in anticipation of this possibility. it should be properly aged by the time conference play starts.

pee filled balloons of doom for all church going little old lady visiting fans and especially anyone using a cane, walker, etc.

the assholes are back. maybe.

 

[PAHIBuff]

How did things ever get so screwed up between us, baby? I am so sorry for the things I said and did. When I ran off with that California girl, I said some terrible things. Your mom isn't really toothless and your first cousins didn't actually marry each other. And, I know was unkind about your hometown and the smell of cow **** wafting through the air. But, I miss it, baby. I really do.

And I miss you. Your lack of education doesn't bother me-- you have a good heart. And, sure, that crazy baptist uncle of yours gets a little out of hand, but I promise to bite my tongue. We can all be a family again. Those few extra pounds you have put on really suit you baby. Those ultra fit gals out west are so fake!

Just take me back, baby, please. You know I really love you. I can't wait to spend my time with you out on the frozen flatlands. The mountains are so boring and the West Coast is so mean and unwelcoming. I just want to come home, baby. Take me to Stillwater and Lubbock and Waco and Little Manhattan. And, I can't wait to meet your new family members in Morgantown and elsewhere.

We can work this out, honey. I know we can. Just give me another chance. Please, baby, baby please.

Awright Babe, mop out this dang trailer, give the Chow Chow a bath, snuggle me a little bit and we can talk.

 

[White_Rabbit]